Self Imposed Protection
by artykidd
Summary: Sometimes things happen that make us question our existence. RaphaelDonnie interactions and LeoMikey interactions. Deals with the issue of death.
1. Chapter 1

What's

Okay, so this story is pointless really. I wasn't inspired by anything. It's just one of those "questioning my existence" things. Also, I really like Donnie and Raph interactions. Donnie's geekiness plays off Raph's machismo really well. I always figured that if the guys were human these to would rule the school, so to speak. Also, I think the reason they have such a good relationship is because they are so opposite they are almost amused or entertained by one another.

I tried not to write Raph as being depressed just detattched. I think that if it seemed necessary, he would start to separate himself from his family. Donnie, I might have gone overboard from geek into nerd. If I did, I'm sorry. So anyway, read and review please. If ya'll like it, I'll keep going. If ya'll don't, I'll stop.

BTW: this is a combo of all versions of the TMNT, except for the Next Mutation series. I never saw it. Also, I put some of my outdoor skills to work in this story.

Legal Disclaimer: I would put in the statement that I don't own 'em but why bother. We all know who does so why depress ourselves any further.

* * *

"Raph! Slow down!" a voice came through the headset on his bike helmet. "You go any faster and we'll lose sight of you."

"Leo," Rapahel replied. "you'll catch sight of me again when you get to the farmhouse."

"Raphael," Leo waited for an answer. "Rapheal!" he called into the shell cell again. "Great," he grumbled and turned to the rest of the family in the van. "He turned his headset off."

"Settle down my son," Splinter spoke to him. "I am sure that Raphael will call if he experiences any difficulty. Give him so time alone. I am sure that is what he wants right now."

Rapahel arrived at the farmhouse and went upstairs to his usual room that he shared with Michelangelo and dumped his stuff on the bed. He sighed a bit and flopped down on the bed. _Might as well enjoy the quiet while I can. Fifteen more minutes and everyone else will be here._ He quietly looked around the room and wondered why they didn't just stay here permanently. Why did they keep returning to the damp, dark sewers? Without answering himself he dug through his back pack and pulled a item that no one else knew he had. He was hoping he would be able to be alone this weekend so he could use it without any interference. He looked back at the green army bag and smiled. _Wish I knew how you were Frankie._ Digging through the side pockets, he pulled out the rest of the items he would need and set them aside where no one else would find them. He inadvertenly jumped when he heard the old VW van pull up. Grudgingly, he went downstairs to help unload supplies.

Walking off the porchsteps he headed over to the front of the van and opened up the storage area and pulled out a cooler of food.

"Raph," Leo called to him. He was going to say something to his brother about going off on his own like he did but Raphael cut him off.

"Stuff it Leo," he said quietly and took the food into the kitchen. He walked in, put the cooler down on the table and went back out to get more of the supplies. He didn't even respond to his brothers as he passed them.

As he was about to grab another box, a furry hand was placed on his arm. He followed the arm up to see the face of his father smiling at him. Rapheal sighed and waited for the lecture but was surprised when he didn't receive one.

"My son," Splinter said. "We are here for your birthday. I do not wish for you to do anything but relax. Please let us take care of the supplies."

Rapahel tried to protest but Splinter stopped him. "I insist. Please," and he waved his hand over to the entrance of a well worn trail heading into the woods. "your walks in the forest always seem to bring you some peace. Go for a walk my son and relax. We will handle this."

Knowing it wouldn't do him any good to argue with his father, the usually hot headed turtle headed off in the direction his father indicated.

Raphael trudged through the woods of North Hampton. Usually his strolls in the quiet, dense forest would take his mind off of things. Today was different, however. He was still aggravated and what was supposed to have been a peaceful walk had become a loud march, his level of frustration rising with every step.

"This is so stupid?" he muttered to himself. "I just wanted a week to myself. They didn't need to come up here with me." He silently cursed himself for not making his intentions clearer to his family.

As he kept going, he thought back to the day before. It was a simple request really. Splinter asked Raphael what he wanted for his birthday. Raphael hadn't really thought about it. In truth, he really didn't care. It just wasn't that important. Nothing really seemed all that important anymore.

Splinter and his sons had taken notice of the change in his behavior. It wasn't obvious at first, just gradual differences that didn't become noticeable until Raphael had seemingly become a different turtle. Lifeless.

In the beginning, they all thought that perhaps the usually temperamental turtle was maturing, learning to control his usual loud outbursts. But as time passed, the changes spilled over to the rest of his life. He didn't get upset when Leo bested him during practice, Michelangelo's pranks didn't have any affect at all. No smile, no anger, nothing. And, oddly enough, when Donatello proudly announced he had an enhancement to make Raphael's shell cycle go even faster, Raphael didn't raise and eyebrow. He just whispered a simple "thanks" and walked off to his room, secluding himself again, a self imposed solitary confinement.

That was when Splinter decided something must be done. He had left Raphael to himself up until now. His second eldest son was prone to emotional highs and lows, but this time, it seemed as if the low period had no end in sight.

Raphael was laying in is hammock slowly rocking side to side, listening to a simple, rhythmic squeak from the strain on the metal framework that supported him. The silence was interrupted by two soft taps outside the doorway. Raphael huffed a bit and rolled his eyes, he knew this was coming. It was going be either Splinter or Leo and the light knocking on the door told him who it was. Tap, tap, tap. A second time, still as light as the first. Definitely Splinter.

"My son?" a head peered into the room.

Raphael merely raised his eyes to his father's question. "I'm awake," he answered.

"Ah, good," Splinter smiled wide and casually walked over to Raphael as if nothing was wrong. Raphael noticed how, when his Sensei walked, the sound of his feet and the TOK! of his cane on the floor, created an interesting pattern. He mused over this a little more and cocked an eyebrow as he thought about the sounds.

Splinter grinned at the sight of his son deep in thought. He always looked so serious when he contemplated even the simplest of things. One eyebrow rose with the eye wide while the other was scrunched up, almost a slit. His bottom teeth stuck out as he chewed on his upper lip. It was a face he made often as a child, trying to learn to read. Splinter shook his head and sighed. He decided to go ahead and interrupt his son's contemplation.

"AHEM!"

"Huh!" Raphael jumped a bit, forgetting his sensei was still there. "Oh sorry, Master Splinter. Didn't mean to ignore you or nuthin'" he shrugged.

"It is quite alright Raphael, you looked deep in thought." Splinter stood there, eyeing his son, both hands folded over his walking stick. To Raphael this position always gave the old rat the look of a holy person, devoid of any faults and full of wisdom.

"My son," he began. Raphael not wanting to be rude, sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the hammock. He folded his hands in his lap and, unknowingly, his toes began to rub together. Splinter stifled a laugh at the sight. _He probably thinks he is in trouble again._ "It has occurred to me Raphael, that you have not made any mention of your birthday. It will be here in a week."

_My birthday?_ Raphael was a little surprised at the topic. _That's what he wants to talk to me about? My birthday?_

"Do not tell me you have forgotten about your own birthday." Splinter seemed only slightly amused by this, but he was also concerned. _What could have him so preoccupied that he would forget a day set aside specifically for him?_

Raphael shrugged his shoulders as an attempt to answer Splinter's question. The wise old rat wasn't accepting the silence. He tilted his head and made a face which indicated that saying nothing was not and acceptable response.

Raphael sighed, slightly frustrated. Honestly, he really didn't care; he viewed it as just another day. There was nothing special about it. "I didn't forget Sensei. I just wasn't concerned with it. That's all."

"Raphael, you are going to be 18, surely that is something to be celebrated." His father was surprised at the answer. Granted he was not Michelangelo who made announcements about his birthday a month in advance, but Raphael had always enjoyed a little celebration. "Think my son," he continued. "Is there anything special you would like?"

"Naw," he shrugged again. He started staring at the floor swinging his legs a little. "I can't think of anything."

"You cannot deny your family the opportunity to do something special for you," Splinter leaned forward on his stick a little. "Perhaps there is something you would like to do or somewhere you would like to go."

The turtle scratched at the back of his neck and looked up at the ceiling, trying to think of something. "Well," he stopped for a moment and stared at Splinter. "I guess if Casey's okay with it, I wouldn't mind going up to North Hampton for awhile. Like, say, a week. The quiet would be nice."

Splinter's eyes grew wide with the idea and he smiled at his son's suggestion. "Excellent. A wonderful suggestion my son." His cane tapped the floor to emphasize his point. "We could all do with a change. I'm sure that Mr. Jones and Ms. O'Neil would not mind and they might even come with us. We will celebrate your birthday there." Splinter turned to walk out of Raphael's room and spoke as he left, "I will have Leonardo call Casey right away. We will leave in the morning before dawn."

So here he was now, trudging through the woods, just trying to get away. _I shoulda' just said I wanted to come alone. 'Course that woulda' hurt Sensei's feelins and I can't do that._ Raphael paused for a moment, listening to his thoughts. _Oh for cripes sakes, SNAP OUT OF IT!_ He yelled inwardly. _What is the matter with me? Stupid question. I know what the problem is. I just don't care anymore. _WHACK! He swung his sai at defenseless tree. Not out of anger, but just to have something to do. _I mean, what's the point of it all. _CHA-CHIK! Another hit. _When did I start feeling so………so… useless? I mean Leo, he's got a purpose. _WHAP! _He's the team leader and he has his ninjitsu to focus on. Donnie _WHACK! _He's the brains of the outfit. He's always got stuff to fix or create or invent. Even Mikey has a reason to get up in the morning. _CHOCK!_ I mean he does all the cooking, Thank God, and he likes to write about everything. There's something driving everybody. _SMACK! The tree couldn't take much more. _What do I have to contribute? Nothing. No skill except bustin' skulls and that doesn't take much. I don't contribute anything. _

Craaa-aaa-ck! Raphael jumped out of the way as the small tree came began to topple over. Its trunk couldn't take anymore of the abuse and it came down. WHUMP! The tree fell off to the side and Raphael mused for a moment about the tree falling in the woods and whether or not it makes a sound if no one is there. He started to hear a slight buzz. The buzzing increased and he turned towards the sound. His eyes grew wide at the sight and his jaw dropped for a moment. There had been a large bee hive dangling precariously from the top of the tree. The impact of the fall had split the hive in half and a swarm of angry bees was looking for the culprit.

Raphael started to back up slowly, hoping his presence had not been noticed. But, the first prick on his skin indicated it was too late. Running as fast as he could through the woods, he tried swatting the insects out of the way as he moved. _I hate bugs! I hate bugs! I hate bugs!_ Continued repeating in his brain as he moved.

He was getting closer to the house but his body felt like it was on fire. He wasn't sure how many times he had been stung but he knew they were all over. His right eye was rapidly swelling up and so was the left side of his mouth, due to several attacks from the little demons. He was limping on his right leg, his hand gripping his thigh for support. His breathing was becoming labored. A few correctly placed stingers caused his neck to swell partially, making it hard to take in air. He could see the house rising up over the line of bushes and he continued to push himself even though it hurt. Occasionally he would feel something on his skin or breeze by his face, causing him to inadvertently swat at whatever it was.

Casey and April were staring at the engine in the back of her broken down VW van. Casey was leaning on the tire well, staring at the block shaking his head. April was staring at Casey. "I don't like that look on your face Casey. What's the problem and how expensive is it going to be?" She stood with her arms folded, awaiting the worst.

Grabbing an old clothe; Casey wiped his hands and turned toward April. "Actually, it's fixable. It's not as bad as I thought. You just need a new radiator."

"Oooooooh no." The red head groaned. She brought her hands up to her face, trying to shut out the dancing dollar signs in her vision. "How much?" she cringed, expecting the worst.

"Not much really. You gotta' remember this old heap of yours isn't common anymore. I might get lucky and find a replacement at a junkyard in town. But that's worst case. Donnie and I will pull the part out later and have a closer look. Okay?" He pulled her hands down from her face, "Hey c'mon. It's not that bad. You told me how this thing made it through a chase with the cops right?" She nodded yes. "So, it's a tough old jalopy and I know how much you love it. We'll get if fixed."

April smiled at Casey's comment. He was getting better at his role as boyfriend. She decided to keep him. "Go get me the hose and I'll put some more water in it so it won't heat up too much."

Smiling, April walked over toward the spigot at the side of the house and started picking up the long hose.

"How's it looking Casey?" Donatello inquired.

"It's fixable Don, but you, me, and Raph have got some work to do to it." Casey looked around for a moment. "Where is he anyway?" The human scratched his head. His friend had been acting a little off lately. He even turned down the invitation to bust up a purple dragon meeting.

"He's somewhere that way," Donatello indicated with his Bo staff. "Splinter sent him on a walk for whatever reason," he answered, shrugging his shoulders.

Casey turned and stared at the direction Donatello indicated. He leaned a little forward and squinted, trying to see what was making the surrounding bush move about.

"What's causing all that commotion?" April asked. She was standing behind the two, garden hose in hand.

"Raph!" Casey yelled at the sight of his friend stumbling towards them, his skin covered with patches of black. Casey went running over and began dragging his friend to the house.

Donatello, realizing what the cause of his brother's predicament was, grabbed the hose from April and ran towards his now limp brother. "April!" he yelled out while still running. "Go get Splinter!"

Casey used the oil rag still in his hands to pull of any remaining bees while Donatello doused them with the hose. The cold water felt good to Raphael's skin.

"Geeze," Casey stepped back after removing the last bug. "Donnie he's got them all over his body. I've never seen someone covered with this many before."

Donatello didn't even bother to look up as he inspected his brother's shivering body. "Help me get him in the house." Both figures grabbed Raphael's arms and carried him up the steps. They were met at the door by Splinter.

"My son?" he eyed them with a worried look while holding the door open.

"Bee stings, Sensei. Lot's of them." Donatello and Casey continued to carry the larger turtle's body up the stairs into his room.

"Michelangelo," Splinter ordered. "Go to the kitchen and fill a bowl with cold water. Soak as many washcloths and dish towels in it as you can." The orange banded turtle ran to the kitchen and hurriedly began following his father's instructions. "Leonardo, go through the cabinets and bring Donatello and myself anything that is listed as an antihistamine. Ms. O'Neil," April looked to the rat, ready to receive her instructions. "I will need a bowl of baking soda and credit cards."


	2. Chapter 2

Donatello and Casey placed the large turtle on the bed, his skin now taught and burning from the swelling of the stings. His body and tensed and contorted from the pain.

Michelangelo and April returned with their assigned items. Splinter and Donatello immediately took the credit cards from April and began flicking the stingers out from Raphael's skin.

"Wouldn't tweezers be better?" April asked.

"No they wouldn't," Donatello answered without even looking up. "When using tweezers, you actually stand a chance of leaving part of the stinger in the skin."

"Oh."

"Ms. O'Neil," Splinter got her attention, "We need for you and Michelangelo to pour some of the water into the baking soda and make a paste for us. It will ease some of the irritation. Take the rest of the water," he continued "and soak the wash clothes in it. We will need them when we have finished removing the stingers."

April and Michelangelo did as they were instructed while Casey just watched. Leonardo came running up the stairs with a red bottle. "This was all I could find!" he blurted out and passed the bottle over to his brother Donatello.

"Thanks Leo but we're going to need more." Donatello took the bottle and threw the cap on the floor. "Raph, this is gonna taste bad but you need to drink it. It will help stop the swelling." He put the bottle to his brother's lips and tipped it back. Raphael coughed and sputtered a bit but most of liquid was swallowed.

"I'll do it," Casey interrupted. "Just write it down for me Leo so I don't get it wrong." He began digging into his friend's bag, pulling stuff out.

"What are you looking for Casey?" Leo asked while handing him a slip of paper.

"The keys to Raph's bike. It's faster than April's van and I don't want to trust it until it's fixed." Upon finding them, Casey grabbed the paper from Leonardo's hand and ran out the door. For a moment the motorcycle could be heard racing off into the distance.

"Okay, guys," Donatello looked up from what he was doing. "Splinter and I need the space so out……..please."

As everyone started to file out of the room, Donatello stopped his youngest brother. "Michelangelo, I know you don't want to but please move your stuff into the room with Leo and my stuff in here."

"But," Michelangelo began to protest.

"C'mon Mike." Leonardo put a hand on Michelangelo's shoulder. "Donnie will need to stay in here with Raph if he needs anything. Besides, is it that bad bunking with me?"

"No I guess not," Michelangelo replied as he picked up his gear and walked out, Leonardo and April in tow.

A few moments later, three of the family members were sitting at the table, drinks in hand.

"This sucks," Michelangelo sighed.

"For who?" Leonardo questioned.

"You know who he means Leonardo," April scolded.

"Sorry Mikey, I guess I'm just as worried as you," Leonardo apologized and continued drinking his tea.

"It's just that," Michelangelo thought for a moment. "He just hasn't been himself lately. He doesn't really do anything, he just sits there and stares at the TV or sleeps. I don't think he even pays attention to what he's watching"

"C'mon Mike," Leo protested. "He hasn't been that bad."

"Think about it Leo," Michelangelo started to raise his voice. "When was the last time the two of you had an argument? Or…or when was the last time he ate a full meal? He's been walking around like a freakin' zombie!" He almost spilled his soda when he slammed his glass down on the table.

"Calm down Michelangelo," April spoke softly. "We're all worried."

"April?" Leonardo looked at her.

"Mikes right Leo. Any bit of energy or drive he had is gone. The last four or five times Casey has tried to get him to go out, he won't go. He just says 'no thanks' and hangs up the phone." April sighed for a moment and absentmindedly stirred her coffee thinking back to recent events. The redhead didn't know everything that was going on, only a small portion. Raphael had only told her a brief part, not all of it. She hadn't told anyone of Raphael's secret, it wasn't hers to tell but she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep things quiet.

Michelangelo looked up as Splinter entered the room. Immediately Leonardo got up and began to fix his father a cup of tea. Splinter sat down as Leo served him.

"Thank you Leonardo," he said and began to sip at his tea. Everyone waited for a moment, wanting hear about Raphael. Master splinter looked up and smiled, "He will be fine," he said. "It looks much worse than it is, but with a day or two of rest, he should be back to normal. Donatello has him resting comfortably for the time being." He took another sip. "I suggest that we keep any activities outside to ensure he gets plenty of quiet and rest."

Michelangelo wasn't satisfied with this answer. "Sensei?"

"Yes Michelangelo?"

"What's really wrong with him? He's not been himself lately."

"That Michelangelo is something I wish that I could answer. Your brother has never been one to express himself freely so I am not sure what is going on." Splinter shook his head at no one in particular and for a moment looked lost. "I wish I knew how to help him."

Casey returned from town within the hour with a bagful of the prescribed items. "I wasn't sure which ones you wanted to I got all three of them," he told Donatello.

"All three what?"

"Well, I guess that antihistamastuff comes in a liquid, tablets, and a gel to put on the skin, so I got all three," and he handed them to the family doctor.

"Thanks Case, I appreciate it."

"No prob Donnie," he said and looked closely at his friend. "He doesn't look so good," he observed. He noticed the slight wheezing sound coming from Raphael as he breathed in and out. "Is he supposed to be making that noise?" he said concerned.

"It's okay. His throat did swell a little bit and so did the side of his mouth so yeah, he is gonna have that little noise. But," he started unpacking his bag, "as long as he's making that noise, I know he's breathing."

"April made some sandwiches for lunch. You gonna come down and eat?" he pointed to the stairs.

"I think it would be best if I stayed up here to watch him," Donatello reasoned. "Bring me something?"

"Sure, I'll be back in a minute. What do you want to drink?"

"Whatever's on hand is fine," he replied. As Casey left, Donatello settled into the chair facing his brother and watched his chest rise and fall with each breath. "What's going on in that head of yours Raph? What are you putting yourself through?


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the next chapter. Thanks to everyone who is reading. I love getting the reviews. And to Reinbeauchaser, there's something in here for you. Enjoy!

* * *

The rest of the day passed by quietly with no other events. Casey did what he could for April's van. With the help of Leonardo and April, they were able to pull the radiator so he could get a closer look.

Michelangelo and Splinter finished putting away the week's supplies and began preparing the evening's meal.

"Sensei?"

"Yes Michelangelo?" Splinter was chopping vegetables for beef stew.

"Do you think its Raph's birthday, ya' know, turning 18 that's bothering him?" Michelangelo asked as he kneaded the dough for biscuits.

"I do not see where that would cause him to be upset Michelangelo."

"Well, I was thinking that maybe he's worried about stuff like growing up and what's gonna happen when we're adults and all. Maybe he's worried about the future," he started rolling the dough up into small ovals and placing them in a pan.

"That is a possibility that I had not considered," Splinter said as he poured the chopped vegetables into the stew pot with the meat. "What are you thinking about my son?"

Michelangelo put the biscuits into the oven and wiped his hands. As he did he continued talking to his father. "I was thinking that maybe we could have a real celebration, like a surprise party for him." Michelangelo paused for a moment. "I could be wrong though. He used to talk to me about stuff, but lately, I don't even get two words out of him. I don't understand it." He looked down and sniffled just a bit. "Must be the onions," he muttered, trying to cover up his tears.

The old rat mulled over his youngest's words. "His birthday being the cause is something to consider," Splinter smiled at the concern Michelangelo showed for his brother. "But, I believe it goes deeper than that."

"You're probably right," Michelangelo agreed. "But I still wanna do something really special for his birthday."

Later that evening, Splinter carried dinner to Donatello. "You should eat something," he said and placed the bowl in front of his sons face.

The smell permeated Donatello senses and immediately had his stomach growling. Smiling, he took the bowl and began to dig in. "Man," he said in between mouthfuls, "say what you want about Mikey, but the kid can sure cook." In a few minutes time, he ate every bit. Without hesitation, he took his biscuit and used it to sop up any remaining gravy from the bowl.

"What would you say about him, Donatello?" Splinter asked as he began dipping the washcloths in the cold water. Gently he placed them back on Raphael's skin. Raphael moved just a bit, uttering an inaudible word.

"Sensei?" Donatello looked at his father with a confused face. "I don't understand."

"Your brother Michelangelo." He finished tending to Raphael and turned to Donatello. "What would you say about him? Describe him."

"Oh," and Donatello sat up scratching at his head to think for a moment. "Well, he's hyper, a good cook, loves comics, has an active imagination, hates peas, wants to be a superhero, writes really well……"

"Very good," Splinter interrupted him. He sat down on the other bed and continued to talk to Donatello. "Now, what would you say about Leonardo?"

"Oh easy," Donatello replied. "He's a dedicated swordsman, disciplined, articulate, has great leadership qualities, can't cook to save his life, prefers tea over coffee, he used to be afraid of heights, and a bunch of other stuff he's told me but I promised not to tell." Donatello sat back, very proud of how well he knew his brothers.

Splinter folded his hands, "And Raphael?" Splinter waited as Donatello sat trying to think of something to say.

"Well," he paused, "sometimes he's short tempered, he and Leo argue a lot, or did."

"But what does he like and dislike Donatello?"

Silence.

"Surely you must know something," Splinter said in earnest, trying to get Donatello to say something.

Donatello began to open his mouth as if he had thought of something but stopped. He sank down into the chair, upset by how poorly he had answered his father's question. "I guess I don't know," he whispered. "I don't really know him anymore do I?" and he looked at his father, waiting for an answer.

Splinter got up and walked over to where Donatello sat. "My son, I have watched the four of you grow up and in the past year or so, grow apart. You and Leonardo are still very close, as were Raphael and Michelangelo. But where Leonardo and Michelangelo and You and Raphael are concerned," he paused for a moment to pat his son on the shoulder. "Well that is something that needs to be remedied." He stood up stared at his son and smiled. "Would you like to step out and get some air? I can sit with Raphael for awhile."

"No thank you Sensei," he shook his head. "I really want to stay with him in case he wakes up again."

"When did he wake up?" Splinter asked.

"A little over an hour ago. I gave him some of the stuff Casey brought back and a cup of the medicinal tea you made for him." He looked over at his sleeping brother. "He didn't really care for either one."

"None of you liked that particular tea whenever I gave it to you. I can't say that I enjoy the taste either, but it is good for him." Splinter walked back over to Donatello and placed his hand on his son's shoulder. "It will be alright Donatello. Just give it time."

Evening rolled around and the air cooled off considerably. The sun was beginning to sink behind the trees, silhouetting them against the purple and red sky. The sound of the crickets would occasionally be interrupted by the sound of a baseball making contact with a bat. The old rat smiled as he watched Leonardo, Michelangelo and Casey take turns hitting, pitching, and catching. Splinter thought about how his idea of family had changed over the past few years. _For so long, I thought that our family would be only my sons and I. How quickly all that has changed. Ms. O'Neil and Casey Jones have become part of our family as well. They have become so much a part of our life that I regard them as my own, no longer just friends. We are truly blessed to have them in our lives._ He continued rocking in the porch swing, staring at the mock baseball game going on in front of him.

"Mind a bit of company?" a voice broke his thoughts. April was standing at the side of the swing, two mugs in hand with a small smile on her face.

With a simple nod, Splinter slid over, allowing April some room.

April handed him the cup, "sugar no cream, right?"

"Yes, thank you," and he took a small sip.

April sat down and leaned back into the seat, shutting her eyes for a moment to relax and take in the sounds around her. Opening her eyes, she watched three figures running about in an imaginary game of baseball. "Who's winning?"

Splinter cocked his head and turned towards her, "I don't really understand the game so I'm afraid I don't know."

April had to laugh at his honest answer. "I'm sorry Splinter," she apologized in between giggles.

"That's quite alright," Splinter shared in her laughter. "I'm afraid there are many American customs and traditions I never tried to learn."

After a few minutes, April settled back into the cushion on the swing and took a sip of her hot tea. "Splinter?" She stared absentmindedly at the game.

"Yes?" He watched Michelangelo cheer as Leonardo hit the ball over Casey's head.

April stared at her cup and rubbed the outer rim with her fingers. "What if you were asked to keep a secret, but you weren't sure you should? What would you do?"

"Well, that depends on the secret," he turned to look at her. "It involves Raphael, does it not?"

She nodded yes, still staring at her drink.

"Has he done something to hurt himself or another?"

"No," she whispered and took another sip. "He hasn't really told me much of anything. I just, somehow ended up knowing some of what's going on."

"Are you in any danger from it?"

She shook her head no.

"Then my son has trusted you to keep this secret so you should." Splinter sat his cup down on the railing that ran down the edge of the porch. He surprised April by holding her hand for a moment. "You and Casey have become family to us. I see you as my own. I never for a moment regretted the fact that two of you came into our lives. I am glad that Raphael trusts you. His trust is a hard thing to earn. I am sure that he will tell us all what is going on when he is ready." He stood up and began to walk inside. "It is getting late. I think that I will retire now. Will you be alright?"

"Yeah," she whispered softly. "I think I will." She looked up at him nervously and caught his eye. He turned to look directly at her. "Thanks dad," she smiled.

"You are welcome my child."


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. I really get excited about checking my mail. (sad huh?). Still no answers to Raph's little troubles but he actually speaks in this chapter. Any who, here we go again. And, uh, sorry this chapter is so short.

* * *

April woke up the next morning to the smell of pancakes and coffee. Rolling over, she realized Casey was already up. She could hear his voice downstairs talking to Michelangelo.

Grabbing her robe, she went downstairs for breakfast. As the smell of coffee grew stronger, her pace quickened. "Morning everyone," she said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning glory," Michelangelo gave her a small kiss on the cheek and handed her a cup of coffee.

"Thanks Mikey," she smiled.

"Hey!" Casey interjected "Watch it shortstack," he pointed a piece of bacon at the smallest turtle. "That's my girlfriend you're kissing." He walked over and gave April a small kiss on the lips. "Morning Beautiful."

"Well that's just great," Mikey put his hands on his hips and flashed a cheeky grin. "I've been replaced."

"Sorry Mikey, but Casey's greeting is a bit better," April smiled. She looked around the table at her adopted family and couldn't help but feel like this was where she belonged. He smile grew into a large grin when a plate of pancakes was placed in front of her.

"The blueberry bushes outside were ready to be picked," Michelangelo shrugged. "So I figured, why not? Everyone loves blueberry pancakes." Michelangelo watched for a moment as everyone began eating. "I'll take the silence as a good sign."

After a good breakfast, Leonardo was the first to get up. "Where are you going my son?" Splinter asked.

"I thought I might go exercise for a little," he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't want to get rusty."

"If you would, do a favor for me first."

"Of course Sensei. What is it?" Leonardo put his plate and cup in the sink.

"The weather report said that it was going to be rather cool tonight. Would you mind cutting some firewood for the fireplace?" he passed his plate to Casey who was getting up.

"I can give ya' a hand with that Leo," Casey said.

"Actually Casey, I would like for Michelangelo to assist Leonardo with that particular task."

Mikey looked a little shocked at his father's suggestion. "But Master Splinter," he protested. "I was gonna go check on Raph."

"April can do that," and he turned to April. "If you do not mind."

"No, of course not," she stood up and stretched. "Just let me go get changed and I'll go relieve Donnie." And she headed upstairs to her room.

"Well," Casey scratched at his head. "I guess if we're gonna build a fire tonight, I better go and check the flume to make sure the chimney isn't clogged."

Chairs scraped the floor as everyone got up to take care of the mornings tasks, some more hesitant than others.

"Hey Mike," Leonardo spoke to his brother as they were at the front door. "I'm going to go put my katanas up in my room, I'll meet you at the wood pile."

"Fine," he muttered. "Whatever," and Michelangelo trudged out to the side of the barn, obviously upset.

April got changed and made her way into Raphael and Donnatello's room. She stopped in the doorway and stared at the sight before her. Donatello was sitting in the chair at the foot of Raphael's bed, facing his brother. Raphael slept soundly while Donatello kept watch. He had obviously been awake all night his head would bob as he kept fighting the sleep that threatened to overtake him.

April walked over quietly, not wanting to surprise him. "Donnie," she whispered softly and touched his cheek.

"Huh?" he jumped a moment and turned to see April eye level with him. "Hey," came a groggy answer. "What time is it?"

"It's time for you to get some rest," she replied. "Go lay down in the other room. I'll sit with Raph for awhile."

"But..." he began to protest.

"Donnie, you need some rest. I promise to come get you if he needs anything." She put her hands behind his shoulders and helped him out of the chair. "Go get some sleep."

April went about picking up the washcloths off of Raphael's skin. Some of the salve made from the baking soda crumbled and fell to the sheets. As she did so, she could hear Donnatello and Leo talk for a moment as the tired turtle crawled into bed.

"Is he gone," a tired voice caught her attention.

"Hey," she smiled and pulled the chair up to the bed side. She gently stroked the side of his face. "Yeah, I sent him to get some sleep in the other room. You gave us quite a scare."

"Sorry," he answered and held her hand to his cheek for a moment. Suddenly, as if ashamed of his actions, he let go and turned his head away from her.

"No Raph," she pulled his face back over so he was looking at her. "Not this time."

Leonardo headed out to the side of the barn. As he got closer, he could hear a loud TOCK! as Michelangelo had begun cutting the wood. He let out a sigh and his shoulders sagged for a minute as he thought about the brief conversation he had with Donatello. "Hey Mike," he spoke. "Save me any wood?"

"Sure," he answered without even looking up. WHACK! Another piece of wood was split. He tossed the two pieces into a small pile he had started.

"So I talked to Donnie," Leonardo said in between strikes. "He said Raph's swelling has gone down quite a bit."

"And?"

"And he said he'll probably wake up today and he'll be up and about tomorrow." Leonardo smiled at Michelangelo, hoping to get some sort of reaction, but the youngest didn't even look at him. Leonardo felt a hole growing in his stomach. Frustrated, he put his axe down and walked over to his little brother and immediately took the blade from his hands.

"HEY! What gives!" he shouted. "You could get hurt doing stupid stuff like that!"

"Well maybe then you might actually pay some attention to me!" Leo shot back.

Michelangelo just looked shocked. It wasn't a regular thing for his oldest brother to take a cheap shot like that. Michelangelo just stared at the ground.

"Look Mikey," Leonardo tried to apologize. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Michelangelo sat down on the stump and put his head in his hands. "Don't apologize Leo. You're right. I haven't exactly been pleasant to you since we got here." He stared his brother in the face, "I'm sorry. I'm just…….. angry." He held his hands out, "What's going on? Is Splinter trying to purposely keep me from talking to Raph? Did I do something wrong?"

"No Mikey," Leonardo pulled the other stump over next to his little brother. "I think Splinter is doing his usual. Trying to teach us a lesson."

Michelangelo leaned forward, his arms resting on his legs. "This must be a heckuva lesson." He turned to look at his brother as Leonardo put his arm around him. "You have any clue what it is?"

"Mikey," Leo chuckled for a moment, "did you know, that I can't stand blueberries?"


	5. Chapter 5

I hope some of everyone's questions get answered in this chapter, but things are far from over. Enjoy! BTW: Mrs. Morrison is a character from the TMNTChallenges book that was put out in 1991. She appeared in the cartoon as well. It was a relationship that I thought should have been explored more.

* * *

April stared at Raphael but he said nothing. "You've got to talk about this," she said to him. "The way you're keeping things inside, they're eating away at you."

Raphael felt the tears welling up and turned away again. He couldn't look at her pleading face any longer. "I told you already," he whispered. "You know what's going on. Why do I have to tell anyone else?"

"No Raph," she protested. "I don't know what's going on."

He rolled over to his side and sat up, facing the wall.

Undeterred, April walked over and held his face in her hands. "All I got was a letter stating I'm the executor to a will of a person I've never met and you're the beneficiary. That's not much to go on." She let go of his face and moved her hands down his arms to his hands and whispered, "Please tell me something."

Raphael just turned, focusing his vision on a small speck of dust on the floor. "I'm hungry," he muttered. "Is there any breakfast left?"

April let out a sigh and stood up. "Fine," she stated. "I'll get you something to eat," and she started to the doorway, out of the room. "but," she turned and looked at him. "this conversation is far from over with."

April returned minutes later with a bowl of oatmeal and a glass of juice. "Here," she handed the plate to him. "Eat something, please. I'm going to go draw you a bath. I'm sure you probably want to wash off."

As she went across the hall Raphael absentmindedly stared at his bowl and stirred its contents around. His mind went back three years ago. He had been running across the cities roof tops. A usual nighttime exercise for the young turtle.

"_Sorry I've been rude. You guys have been following me for blocks," the young turtle jeered to four foot soldiers. It was easy to take them down, they weren't that experienced. An accurately placed kick knocked one over while his sai took care of two more. The fourth one stood back, on the edge of the building, holding his two daggers. "Just you an me left pally! Back off an we'll call it a night." The young foot soldier wasn't going to be deterred. He threw a knife a Raphael but the turtle quickly deflected it and sent one of his sai in return. It sent the opposing ninja over the edge. Upset by the whole inconvenience, Raphael climbed down the fire escape to retrieve his weapon. As he did he looked up to see another dozen foot soldiers arrive to the scene. Wanting to avoid a chance at being outnumbered, Raphael ran down the alley way and ducked into a corner, absentmindedly leaning on a door. _

_The thump of his head on the wood was enough to alert the resident to someone outside. He thought she was going to panic at the sight of him, but much to his relief, she was blind. Confusing him for the son of a neighbor she invited Raphael in and immediately put him to work moving and sorting boxes and cleaning up her basement. Raphael didn't seem to mind helping the elderly woman. He actually enjoyed it. He was being treated like a regular teenager. She even invited him to stay for a cup of tea and some cookies. Happily, Raphael and Mrs. Morrison talked for several hours while her cat Lucy climbed all over him, until she finally sent him home, it being a school night. But not before she invited him back "Well, thanks again for your help," she said gratefully. The next sentence really surprised Raphael. "And please come back anytime. Lucy and I would love to have you." And that started it. _

_It became a weekly visit for Raphael, checking in on the elderly woman. He would fix leaky pipes, loose steps, help her straighten up and even work in her small garden. He enjoyed his weekly visits and she seemed to also. _

Raphael sighed and took a small bite of his oatmeal and thought about the dear lady who had become a bit of a grandmother to him. A small tear dripped down his cheek into his bowl as he realized how much he missed her.

Michelangelo and Leonardo had finished chopping wood and headed back inside, talking as they went. "So you really think I would like comics?" Leo asked with a hint of skepticism in his voice. "I don't know Mikey, they just seem a lot like kid stuff," he laid down his armload of wood. "Comics are for kids," he tried to explain.

Smiling and shaking his head, Michelangelo added his armful of wood to the stack. "Bro" he said, brushing his hands off. He threw his arm around his brother, "Allow me to introduce you to the world of Graphic Novels." He said the last to words with an outstretched arm and a loud whisper, giving them and aura of mystery and greatness.

Leo shrugged his shoulders and finally gave into his brothers tactics. "Why not." In return he placed his arm on Michelangelo's shoulder, "C'mon, all that work made me thirsty."

When they walked into the kitchen, Casey was talking to Splinter.

"I don't know what to do Master Splinter," he said with a look of worry on his face. "I took a closer look and that old van needs more than just a radiator." He tilted his head back and drank the rest of his soda.

"What's wrong with the van Case?" Michelangelo piped up. "I thought you were just gonna' go pick up a radiator."

"It needs more than I thought," he turned around to see Michelangelo digging through the refrigerator. Leonardo was busy getting glasses.

"Like what?" Leonardo asked as he sat down. Michelangelo poured their drinks and sat next to his brother.

"Oh, well, besides the radiator, it needs all new hoses and belts," Casey gave a confused look to the two turtles as he watched Michelangelo first pour cola and then add a little juice from the cherry jar to each glass.

"What?" the youngest looked at his audience.

"Cherry cola!" Leonardo proudly held up his glass as did Michelangelo. "Cheers," he said.

"So," Michelangelo said after taking a swallow. "Hoses and belts can't be that expensive can they?"

"No," Casey replied. "But, the engines gotta be pulled to do it," he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I called the local station. They're sending a tow truck out to pick it up in an hour." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Casey," Michelangelo put his hand on his friend's arm, "you know we'll pay what we can."

"Thanks guys," Casey started to stand up. "I'm gonna go make sure there's nothing in it before they get here." He turned around to his friends, "When you hear the truck come, make yourselves scarce." All three nodded in agreement.

"Sensei, how's Raph doing?"

"He's fine Mikey," April answered coming down the stairs. Donatello followed her. "He ate something," and she put his dish in the sink to wash. "He took a bath and he went to lie back down."

"Did he say anything to you?" Leonardo asked.

"Not really," she shook her head. Exasperated, she leaned up against the sink and folded her arms. "He's starting to make me mad."

Wearily Donatello sat at the table and put his down. "Mikey," he turned his head to his youngest brother. "I'm hungry."

"Hang on bro', I'll make you a snack to hold you till dinner," and he began making a sandwich for his brother.

"Did you sleep well Donatello?" Splinter asked.

"Yes sensei." He stretched and yawned. "I guess I stayed up all night last night."

"I appreciate you watching over your brother my son," and Splinter patted his son on the back.

"So guys," Michelangelo cheerfully turned from the open refrigerator and handed his brother a plate of food. "Do you want spaghetti or lasagna for dinner?"


	6. Chapter 6

This chapter came out shorter than I had originally planned for but I hope everyone enjoys. I know some of you are wondering who Frankie is still, so I hope to address that issue next chapter.

* * *

Drip……..drip………drip……..drip

Raphael watched the little rivulets of water fall from his fingers into the tub. He stared at the ripples, their concentric circles increasing in size as they reached the edge of the tub. He leaned his head back and sighed as his memories turned around in his mind.

"_Stupid Rain! Makin' everything wet and soppy!" Raphael growled as he entered the doorway of the small apartment. _

"_Wipe your feet Raphael," Mrs. Morrison instructed. "Stay where you are and I'll get you a towel to dry off with."_

_Raphael watched carefully as the little old lady made her way down the hall to the bathroom, hands sliding down the wall as she did. Raphael kept a close eye on her, making sure she didn't stumble or run into anything._

_Returning with a clean towel she handed it to him with a smile. "I didn't expect a visit from you today with all this terrible weather we've been having." _

"_Hey, it's Tuesday and I wouldn't miss a Tuesday with my favorite lady for anything," he grinned. He looked forward to these visits, although the weather was a bit of a disappointment for him. "With this storm though, I don't guess we're gonna get that garden of yours weeded," and he turned to look out the curtains to the outside. "I hate the rain," he sighed._

"_Be fair Raphael," she spoke from the kitchen. He followed her in and got out the cups as she felt the dial to turn the stove on. "Oh," she said realizing something important. "Look in the pantry dear."_

_He did as instructed and opened the door. "I had the grocery store send over those cookies you like. The ones with the Italian name. What was it?" she thought for a moment. "The almond biscotti. Did you find them?" She turned towards the sound of him rummaging in the walk in cabinet._

_Grinning he held them out triumphantly. "Thank-you," he said and added a quick kiss on the cheek. _

"_You're welcome dear," and she pulled out a plate for him to put the cookies on. "Set the table please?"_

"_Yes ma'am."_

_As soon as he was done Raphael went into the kitchen and retrieved the tray she had set up. He placed a potholder in her hand so she could grasp the tea pot without burning her hands. "Thank-you dear," she said to him again._

_Raphael pulled a chair out for her as she sat down and began instructing her where her food was was. "Tea is at two o'clock, cookies at six, and spoon at high noon." He slid her chair in. "Cream or sugar?" _

"_Two sugars dear, no cream," she answered as he sat down and fixed her cup. "Now then," she began as she poured the tea. "Last time you left off about you and your brothers and father 'changing' from that green ooze. I've been curious to hear the rest of the story." She took a drink of her tea and cringed at the sound she heard. "Don't slurp dear."_

"_Sorry ma'am. I forgot."_

"_It's alright dear. I can't imagine you've been to too many high teas," she smiled at him. "Before you finish your story, tell me, why don't you like the rain?"_

"_Oh, um..." he quickly swallowed a bit of cookie. "One second," and washed it down with another sip of tea. "I don't know. It just makes everything all soaked. Our home floods when we get a big storm like this. It's cold and uncomfortable."_

"_I suppose that's true, but those are only immediate consequences._" _And she paused as she considered her next statement._ "_But, even God sends his rain onto the righteous."_

_Raphael paused in between bites. "I don't get it."_

_Mrs. Morrison smiled at his reaction. "My dear boy, every one and thing, no matter how good or bad, needs the rain. Why I remember visiting family in Georgia for the summer. Do you know, they didn't have paved roads in the entire town?"_

_Raphael sat and listened quietly as she told her story. "Was it long ago?"_

"_Oh my, yes. I was only a little girl so I suppose it was around 1925 or so," she took another sip. "Anyway, the town had no paved roads, just clay roads. Orange clay to be exact. That stuff was everywhere. It was on the side of the buildings, cars, sidewalks."_

"_Sounds awful and he refilled her tea._

"_Not really, thank you dear." She stirred her fresh cup of tea. "No one seemed to mind. I couldn't figure it out why either. Until," she stopped stirring and took a drink. "We had a horrendous rain storm. Oh it was loud with lots of thunder and lightening. Very frightening to a young child. I stood at that window and watched it come down and cursed those little raindrops for ruining my fun. I didn't like being stuck inside."_

"_Sounds like me," Raphael commented._

"_Well, my aunt heard me talking how the rain was useless."_

"_Did she tell you to stop?" he peered over the edge of his tea cup._

"_No she just let me run my mouth and get it all out of my system. When the rain was over, she put me in the car and said she was going to take me to town for a treat. And do you know when we got to town, those buildings were the prettiest white, the sidewalks were clean and so were the cars and trucks. And the smell!" she clapped her hands together. "I'll never forget how fresh everything smelled. The rain just washed away everything and I never remember things looking prettier." She stopped and smiled at him._

"_Okay Mrs. M. I got the point," Raphael conceded._

Feeling himself about to cry, Raphael stiffened up and got out of the tub. He dried himself off and went back to bed, trying to forget everything.

Donatello watched as his brother lay in the bed, curled up in a zombie like state. _If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was purposely trying to shut himself off from the rest of the world._ He thought a little more. _I wish I knew what happened to make him do this. He can't keep pushing us away. I won't let him._

The tow truck came and went and April watched as her beloved van disappeared out of sight. Casey stood next to her on the porch. "They said they'd call as soon as it was done."

"Did they give you any idea when?" she asked turning towards him.

"The mechanic said things had been slow so he would probably have it done in a day or two," he squeezed her hand.

"Thanks Casey," she gave a little squeeze back.

"Hey guys," a voice whispered from a crack in the doorway. "Is it safe to come out?" Michelangelo was ready to be let out. He had been in the kitchen fixing dinner and was ready for a break.

"Yeah Mike," Casey grinned. "You can come out." He watched as the youngest turtle walked out followed by Leonardo, both with drinks and books in hand and they sat on the porch enjoying the cool night air. "Reading comic's guys?" he asked trying to make conversation.

"It's not a comic," Leonardo corrected without even looking up. "It's a graphic novel, Lone Wolf and Cub," and he swallowed some of his soda.

"My sons," Splinter came out on the porch. "I think a short practice is in order before dinner."

Leonardo and Michelangelo looked up with disappointment evident in there faces. "But sensei, can't we have just a few more minutes?" Michelangelo tried to bargain. "The lasagna will be done in thirty minutes. We can eat then practice."

"I'm just getting to the best part." Leonardo added.

Splinter just shook his head, disbelievingly, and spoke. "It will be there when you get back. Now please go get Donatello, I told him we would be doing katas tonight."

Raphael could hear his brother's talking about him in the hallway.

"Should we wake him Donnie?" Michelangelo asked. He was getting anxious, he hadn't actually talked to his brother in over a day.

"No," Donatello sighed and started to walk away from the room and down the stairs.

Leonardo started to say something, but Donatello quickly made an indication for his two brothers to silently follow him out. "I don't know what's going on, but, this whole seclusion thing he's doing," he looked seriously at Michelangelo and Leonardo. "We can't let him keep this up."

"What are you suggesting?" Leonardo asked, standing at the door to go outside.

"I'm not sure yet," Donatello thought as he grabbed his Bo. "But, as soon as I do, I'll let you guys know."


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry for the delay on this update. Between maintaining the cemetary lawn in the mornings (weird job, I know) and karate class four nights a week, I'm exhausted. but, I appreciate everyone's patience. I would post this at Stealthy Stories but for some reason it won't let me.

Anyway, for all those Mikey and Leo fans out there, this chapter is for you. Enjoy

* * *

"Man Mikey," Leonardo moaned, leaning back in his chair. "That was excellent," he rubbed at his stomach to emphasize the point.

"I gotta' go with Leo on this Mike," Casey agreed from across the table. "The lasagna was excellent. That Emeril guy has nothing on you."

Michelangelo beamed with pride while sitting in his chair. He knew he could cook but it was always nice to be appreciated. "Thanks guys," he said while looking around the table. His wide grin relaxed into a very small smile when he looked at the empty chair. Raphael had been called down to dinner but refused, stating he was tired and not that hungry. Donatello quickly made and excuse for his brother explaining that he might not be comfortable with all the swelling still on his body. He continued looking around at everyone, smiling contentedly from being full and making small conversation around the table. Michelangelo briefly felt one of the proverbial warm fuzzies but it was lost again the moment he looked at second time at the empty chair. Quietly, with no announcement, he stood up and began putting food on the empty plate. No one asked what he was doing or why. They all knew. Finishing up, the youngest turtle turned to make one final look at his father, making sure it was okay. Splinter merely nodded and smiled. That was all Michelangelo needed and he started to leave.

"Mike," Donatello stopped him. He turned plate in hand and looked expectantly at his brother. "Make sure he takes a couple more of those tablets will you? And he might need to rub some more of that gel on his sores."

"You got it doc," Michelangelo called out as he raced up the stairs.

Reaching the top of the steps, Michelangelo paused to catch his breath. He hadn't seen or talked to his brother in over a day and was a little excited about having a little time with him. He steadied himself, not wanting to just burst in. Carefully, he knocked on the door and slowly pushed it open. He watched as his brother slowly rolled over to see who was at the door.

Raphael looked like a different person. His eye was still swollen, only able to open a crack and his neck was also enlarged, causing him to make a raspy noise when he breathed.

Smiling Michelangelo quietly walked over to his brother's bed and pulled the chair up next to him. "Here," he said in soft voice, putting the plate on the nightstand by the bed. "I know you said you weren't hungry but you really should eat something."

Raphael let out a small sigh and grunted a bit as he sat up. The backs of his legs were still sore and uncomfortable, stiff, as well as his arms and hands. A slurred "Thanks," came from him as he shakily picked up the plate. He looked closer at the plate, he thought it was lasagna but it didn't look like it, it was all in pieces. He looked questioningly at Michelangelo.

"Oh," Michelangelo grinned. "Donnie said you're fingers were still swollen so I thought I'd go ahead and cut the food up for you." He shrugged his shoulders. "I wasn't sure you would be able to," he finished apologetically. It occurred to him that he might have just insulted his brother.

Raphael said nothing but gripped the spoon as best as he could with his fist and held the plate up to his mouth, taking in small bites. He turned to grab the juice from the table. When he did, Michelangelo picked up the bottle of pills and opened it up.

"Donnie said you should take a couple more of these," he explained. "I guess it's better than taking that red liquid," he tried to reason.

Raphael reached out an empty hand as Michelangelo dropped to pink pills into it. "Makes me sleepy," he answered and then quickly swallowed them down with the juice. Quietly he went back to eating his food, not saying anything more.

"Hey Raph?" the youngest tried to get his attention. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong? Did I do something?"

Raphael spooned one more bite into his mouth and took a final swallow of his juice. He gave his brother a sympathetic look and even let the left corner of his mouth curl up a bit. "You're okay Mike," he answered. He gave the plate and cup back and eased back down on the bed. "'M tired, kay?"

"But what's going on?" he begged, still sitting in the chair. "Please tell me."

Raphael sighed. It was always harder to resist Michelangelo than anyone else. He was always so sincere in his concern for others, you knew you could trust him. He took in a deep breath and considered what to say to him or if he wanted to say anything. Rolling over on his stomach, Raphael gripped the pillow and held it underneath him, trying to get comfortable. He jumped a little when he felt something cold on his skin. He looked over and saw his little brother with a bottle, rubbing the liquid into the backs of his legs.

Realizing he was being watched, he stopped and explained. "Donnie said to put it on the stings, that it would help with the soreness." He waited for a moment but didn't receive any protests so he continued rubbing the stuff into his brother's skin.

Feeling the cool gel soothe his skin, the larger turtle finally relaxed and tried to go to sleep. Knowing he wasn't going to get an answer to his question, Michelangelo quietly finished, took the dishes and left. Stopping at the door, he looked over his shoulder and whispered to Raphael. "I love you bro'."

Raphael's face pushed into the pillow, Michelangelo didn't see the tears that silently slid down his brother's face.

Raphael hated crying. He always saw it as a sign of weakness. The funny thing was, when his brother's did it, he didn't view them as being weak, but stronger for being able to do what he couldn't. Showing and saying how he felt was always a hard task for him, and it wasn't getting any easier.

Michelangelo returned downstairs to see Leo and April taking care of the dishes, talking happily. Forcing his usual grin to his face he walked over and handed the plate and cup off to his brother.

"Thanks Mike," Leonardo gratefully accepted the dirty dishes. He washed them both and passed them off to April who dried them off and put them in the rack. Michelangelo sat at the table and watched the two. He had to wonder if his brother's felt the same way he did. He was happy for April. Casey was a great guy and his friend, but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous and alone when he watched the two of them. He often wondered if he or his brother's would be alone all their lives or if there were more people out there besides April and Casey who would be willing to look past their outer appearance. Unknowingly, he sighed at his thoughts, catching his brother and April's attention.

Leonardo turned around and cocked his head to the side looking at Michelangelo. "You okay?" he asked, drying his hands on the dish towel. April stared at him with a concerned look on her face.

"Yeah, I'll be alright," he tried tell them. His slumped shoulders and finger tracing the lines of the placemat told Leonardo different.

Folding his arms, Leonardo spoke again. "Mikey," he said in his best big brother tone, "What's bothering you?" He watched as the youngest turtle tried to speak, opening and closing his mouth. April walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder and began speaking to him. Leonardo paid attention to the pair and noticed how his youngest brother stared at the red head as she talked to him. "April?" Leonardo interrupted. "Give us a minute?"

"Sure Leo," April answered. She leaned down and gave Michelangelo a kiss on the forehead. "He'll be fine Mikey," she whispered on last time before leaving the room.

When she was finally out of earshot, Leonardo sat down across from Michelangelo. The orange banded turtle now had his arms sprawled out on the table, his head resting on the aforementioned placemat. "Is it that noticeable?" the youngest looked up and asked.

"No," Leonardo shook his head and continued talking. "I don't think she's got a clue."

Michelangelo pulled himself off the table and slumped back in the chair. "That doesn't

make me feel any better," he grouched. "It isn't fair."

"Mike," Leonardo started to laugh a little and leaned forward. "Would it help any if you knew you weren't the only one who's had a crush on April?"

"Really?" his interest now peaked. "Who else?"

"Well," Leo thought, unsure if he should divulge this particular bit of information. Deciding it happened so long ago it wouldn't matter, he made his mind up to tell his little brother. "Raph for starters."

"You're serious?"

"Yeah," he answered leaning back. "Remember when he brought her back to the lair after being mugged and how careful he was about making her comfortable? He had a small crush on her for awhile. Me and Donnie too."

Michelangelo scrunched his face up for a moment, looking slightly confused. "Raph had a crush on you and Don?"

Leonardo slapped himself on the forehead and sighed. "No," he said firmly. "I meant Donnie and I have both at some point in time thought about April."

"Sorry," Michelangelo giggled. "You left yourself open, I couldn't help it."

Leonardo promptly leaned over to smack his little brother on the top of his head. "Dork," he blurted out.

Accepting the little hit, he held his hands up in defeat. "Okay, okay. So what did you guys do?"

"After time, I think we all realized it wasn't going to happen. It's funny," Leonardo grinned. "Raph was the one to figure out that I was starting to have feelings for her, even got me to talk to him about it." He saw the look on his brother's face. "Weird I know, Raph asking someone else, let alone me, to open up to him. Master Splinter's right. Raphael can be very sensitive to others feelings, he just hides it really well."

"So what happened?"

"Not much really. I talked to Raph and slowly realized like he did that it was just that, a crush. She the first human we've ever had contact with and we were lucky. She looked past the green skin and shells and saw us for who we really are, her friends. But now, I think she sees us as family, I know that's how I see her."

Michelangelo nodded in agreement. "I just wish I could have what Casey's got, you know. Just someone else around to like me for me." He gave his brother a pleading look.

"Mike," Leonardo sighed. "I don't know if that's ever going to happen. Someone once told me 'Life is bittersweet at best. But without the first one, we wouldn't know just how wonderful the other is."

"Pretty deep," Michelangelo answered. "But that doesn't sound like one of Master Splinters."

Leonardo just shook his head 'no' and grinned, looking up he pointed to the room above.

"Whooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa," Michelangelo responded, almost mesmerized. "Raph's deep."

Leonardo got up from the table, chuckling. "C'mon," he slapped his brother on the back. Casey got a fire going and Donnie took the marshmallows in there already."

Jumping up and heading to the door, he stopped and looked back at Leonardo. "Did he get the Hershey's and graham crackers?"

Leonardo nodded yes.

Michelangelo turned around and went back to hug his brother. "Thanks Leo," he whispered.

"You're welcome Mikey," he whispered back, returning his brother's embrace. "Now, let's hurry up before Donnie eats all the smore's"


	8. Chapter 8

I should be wrapping this story up in a few more chapters, hopefully. And then it's back to M. Sorry this chapter is so short, but I hope I got things between Donnie and Raph right. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I'm not real confident in writing Leo but I'm guessing by the positive comments that I did okay. Enjoy!

* * *

Raphael sat outside the window on the rooftop that hung over the porch. It was the middle of the night and the temperature had dropped considerably but he didn't care. He sat silently, staring off into the darkened sky, watching the stars twinkle away in the distance. He sighed and pulled his legs up to his chest to give himself a little warmth. The silent turtle grabbed the blanket he had brought out with him and pulled it around himself.

He and his family had been at the farmhouse for four days now. After his arrival, he had managed to be stung by a large number of bees. As a result, he had slept away the first two days. The third he tried desperately to avoid his family. He was fairly successful then but not by much. Today was even harder; no one wanted to leave him alone. It was like they were working in shifts, trying to prevent him from being by himself. "This is so stupid," he muttered to himself.

He watched as a few deer cautiously came out of the woods, their figures revealed by the full moon. The creatures stared at him for a minute, and then deciding he was no threat, they began eating at the grass on the ground.

Donatello rolled over in bed. Shivering he tried to pull at his covers some more but had no luck. He was surprised at how the temperature had dropped inside the house. Wondering if his brother was cold as well, he looked up to see nothing but an empty bed. His eyes moved to the left and saw the open window, the curtains being blown about by the intruding breeze. Donnatello sat up and looked out the window from his place on the bed and saw his brother sitting outside. _What's Raph doing out there?_ He questioned himself. _He's going to freeze._ Shaking his head and sighing in frustration, he grabbed a quilt and wrapped it around himself, stumbling to the window.

He stared at his brother for a moment or two. His swelling had gone down considerably. It had almost disappeared. Raphael was able to open both his eyes now and his neck had gone back to normal. He was even able to completely use his fingers now. Leaning out the window a bit, Donatello sat on the window sill, making a noise as he shifted his weight.

Raphael didn't budge at the noise. "You scared 'em off," he said, not even looking at his brother seated in the window frame.

"Scared who?" he looked around and caught a glimpse of something running off into the trees.

"The deer."

Without another word, Donatello made his way out onto the overhang and sat by his brother. Looking to his left, he pulled the drooping blanket up over Raphael's shoulders. "How long have you been out here?" he finally asked.

"Dunno," Raphael shrugged his shoulders.

"The stars are beautiful," Donatello continued talking, looking up. "You don't see that in New York, that's for sure."

"Nope."

The two stayed still and quiet for a few more minutes, Donatello working up the nerve to ask another question. A few birds and the rusting of the wind in the trees were all the noises that were heard.

"Raph?" he looked at his brother. "What are you thinking about?"

Raphael just shrugged his shoulders, not really wanting to answer.

"Seriously Raph," Donatello pushed even further. "I really want to know."

"Just stuff," he picked at the frayed edge of the old and worn blanket.

"Like what?"

Raphael stayed still and continued staring at the tree line off in the distance. He wondered if it would really hurt to ask his brother. He couldn't ask Mike about this. His youngest brother didn't handle the issue of death too well. And Leonardo, sometimes, he felt just didn't understand things. Resigning himself to his only choice being Donatello, he decided to see what his brother had to say. "Don?"

"Yeah?"

"You ever think about what it would be like, not having Splinter around and all?"

Donatello was surprised at the type of question. He wasn't expecting it. He thought his brother either going to ignore his inquiry or just give him some random answer to blow him off. He thought hard about what Raphael asked, wanting to give an honest answer. "Well," he tapped at his chin. "I asked Mikey that exact question once."

"Really?" Raphael's tone perked up, indicating his interest. "When? What'd he say?"

Donatello turned and saw his brother looking at him, his head resting on his knee. "It was back when we first rescued April, you know, outside the news station?"

Raphael nodded that he understood.

"Anyway," Donatello continued. "Splinter said something about him being gone one day. So after you left, when Mike and I were waiting on the pizza guy, I asked him." He gave a small chuckle. "All he said was the 'Pizza dudes got thirty seconds."

"Figures," Raphael answered, turning his attention back to the sky.

"I don't really know what it would be like without Splinter," Donatello continued his answer. "I'm sure it would be hard on all of us for different reasons. I would hope that when that time does eventually come, we would be there for each other, help each other through it." He stopped, wondering what would cause his brother to bring up such a topic but finished his answer. "But, we have Casey and April and I know they would be there for us."

"I guess."

"Raph?" Donatello tried again. "What's going on with you?"

Raphael didn't answer. He just gripped at his old blanket, shifted his weight onto his knees and turned toward the window. "I'm tired," he said, when his brother put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm going to bed."

Donatello just nodded and gave a simple smile. He knew he wasn't going to get anything else out of his brother tonight. What he did get was a miracle in itself. He made the decision to try again later. Following his brother, he climbed back in the window and shut it. Taking one last look at Raphael, already sprawled on the bed, eyes shut, he pulled the blanket out so his feet were covered and went to bed himself.

Raphael awoke as soon as the sun came in through the window. He rolled over and looked at Donatello, still sleeping, curled up in his quilt. Raphael knew it was still early and, trying not to wake anyone, began to retrieve his hidden items. Placing them in his old backpack, he made a mental list of what he was going to need and set about packing.

He was almost done. He was trying to fold the old blanket up and stuff it in his bag. It was proving a difficult task. Grunting, he tried harder to shove it down.

The noise woke Donatello. Surprised, he looked at his brother, crouched over his bag and trying to buckle it up. "Raph?"

Raphael looked up for only a moment and then went back to work. _Don't talk to him, just get packed and get out of here._

"Raph," Donatello insisted. "Why are you packing? Where are you going?"

Heaving his bag up and putting it on his back, Raphael finally answered. "The woods," he said gruffly. He stared at Donatello, getting up out of bed with a small look of panic on his face.

"For how long?" Donatello asked. "You aren't leaving are you?"

Raphael looked at the floor and shuffled his feet nervously. "I don't know," he whispered.

_Oh no you don't._ Donatello thought to himself. _You are not running away from this, what ever it is. I won't let you._ Quickly he turned to the door and yelled down the hallway to his brothers. "Leo! Mike! Get up!" he hollered. "Raph's taking us camping!"

"Donnie," Raphael hissed. "I didn't say……"

Donatello cut him off. "You either take us with you or we track you down and end up right by your side." He pointed a finger at his brother. "Pick one."

Realizing he was defeated, Raphael flopped down on his bed. "Fine," he grumbled. "You got five minutes to get ready."

A few minutes later, three turtles were at the doorway, saying goodbye to their father and April. Casey and Raphael were standing out in the yard, several feet away from the porch.

"Are you sure you have enough blankets?" April asked. "It's going to be cool again tonight, just like last night."

"We'll be fine April," Leo reassured her. "As long as we get a fire going, we'll be warm enough."

"What about food? A first aid kit?" April was asking questions like a nervous parent sending her children of to their first day of school.

"We'll be fine _mom_," Donatello answered her. "Leo's pack has extra blankets. I've got the first aid kit; Mike's got some canned food and a pan, and Raph….." He stopped for a moment, not sure what his brother had packed. "Oh well, I'm sure whatever he packed, we'll make use of."

Splinter chuckled at the concern his adopted daughter showed for his son's. "They will be fine, I'm sure," he told her. He looked of into the yard, Casey was talking to Raphael. "Raphael is quite familiar with these woods, I know he will take good care of his brothers."

Casey looked at Raphael who was staring at the porch, wondering when his brothers were going to join him. "They're taking too long," he muttered, folding his arms.

"Raph," Casey started, "Look, I don't know what's been buggin you, but whatever happens……." He placed a hand on his friends shoulder. "You know that…….." Casey didn't finish, his voice trailing off. He just gave Raphael's shoulder another squeeze and let go.

"I know Case, thanks." Raphael answered. _That's first thing anybody's said to me that makes sense._

Shortly after, his brother's joined him in the yard and made their way into the forest ahead.


	9. Chapter 9

Just a couple of things I need to point out in this story before you begin reading. Gall berry bushes are a staple in a deer's diet. They look a bit like a blueberry but stay green. When I say the deer made a noise and raised their white flag, it means they let out a long grunt and put their tails up. The white is only on the underneath of a deer's tail. They raise it to alert other of danger or intruders. I know it seems ridiculous for Mike to do what he does, but I too am guilty of the same action. It happens (my first time hunting it did), people get excited about stuff sometimes. 'Nuff said. Enjoy!

* * *

Raphael, with much hesitation, took his brother's into the woods and headed for his usual campsite. The hike there, in his mind, was not a pleasant one. Michelangelo spent most of his time turning his attention from one item to another. Donatello was almost left behind on several occasions because he was so focused on some strange bug or bit of plant life. Oddly enough, Leonardo was the loudest one in the group as they trudged through the woods. Raphael tried not to be to mad at him since the only noise he truly made came from his trying to keep and eye on Donatello or Michelangelo to make sure they didn't get left behind.

They had been walking for a good thirty minutes, when Raphael raised a fist, calling a halt to their march. Everyone understood the signal and stopped in their tracks, silent and unmoving.

Without a noise, Leonardo crept low, up to the front of the line to see why Raphael called for a stop. "What is it?" he asked in a hushed tone. "Humans?"

"No," Raphael whispered back. Pointing ahead and to the right, he spoke in a hushed tone, "Look."

Leonardo followed his brother's arm, but not before he caught what seemed to be a small smile starting to emerge on his brother's face. Looking in the direction his brother indicated, Leonardo spotted the cause. In a small clearing ahead, about 15 yards away, were a small group of deer, complete with three yearlings. Slowly and carefully, Leonardo turned around and indicated for his two other brothers to join him and Raphael behind a large row of gall berry bushes.

Following Leonardo's hand signals, Donatello and Michelangelo kept low to the ground, not making a sound. Leonardo placed a finger to his lips to indicate the need for continued silence. He pointed in the direction that Raphael did and showed his brother the deer.

While the two youngest were somewhat taken by the sight, Leonardo turned his attention back to Raphael. For a second, the tiny little curl of his lips seemed to be growing. That is until………

"That is so cool!" Michelangelo shouted, standing up and pointing.

Instinctively and rapidly, the herd of deer called out, raised their white flags and ran out of sight.

Leonardo watched, disappointed, as his brother's face once again regained it stoic features.

"Let's go," Raphael muttered, standing up and moving ahead.

Twenty minutes later, the four turtles emerged into a small clearing in the woods. In the center was a pit, approximately one foot deep and two feet wide. The edge of the pit was encircled by a ring of rocks, all the same height and flat on top. The ground around the pit was cleared with only a few pieces of grass creeping their way into the black dirt. Marking off the edges of the space were the trunks of old trees that had been cut down and dragged into place. There was a small path that led from the campsite down to a river about twenty yards away.

Without wasting time, Raphael walked into the clearing and dropped his backpack by one of the logs. Pulling out a bowie knife from the back pack, he stepped away from the fire pit and headed toward a group of vines growing up by a tree. His three brothers watched with curiosity as he began hacking away at the green little devils. They weren't really sure what he was doing, until suddenly he stopped, wiping the edge of the blade on his leg and sheathing it back into the case. To his brother's surprise, from the green clinging mess, he pulled a metal grate. Grunting he heaved it up, yanking of the last of the vegetation and walked it over to the fire pit, laying it up against a log. "You and you," he pointed to Donatello and Leonardo. "Go find some dried wood, no moss, large, medium, and small."

Looking at each other and shrugging their shoulders, the two turtles walked off in search of firewood.

"You," Raphael pointed to Michelangelo and handed him the metal grate, "take this down to the river and wash it off." Obligingly, the youngest took the piece of metal and watched as his brother dug into his back pack and pulled out an old bristle bush. "Here," he handed it over. "You can use this to clean it."

"What are you gonna' do?" Michelangelo asked, headed down to the river.

Raphael took a small hatchet and began cutting at a small limb on a tree. "I'm going to go get lunch."

Leonardo and Donatello returned a little less than ten minutes later, their arms loaded down with firewood. Dropping both their loads by the whole in the ground, they sat down and looked around at their surroundings.

"Hey Donnie," Leonardo asked, watching his brother investigate a strange looking bug as it crawled across the ground.

"Yeah?" Donatello answered, not taking his eyes off the unusual insect.

"Where are Mike and Raph?"

Donatello looked up and around thinking for just a second. "I'm pretty sure I heard Raph tell Mikey to take that piece of metal down to the stream to wash it." He rubbed at his chin and a concerned look spread across his face as he looked at Leonardo. "You don't think Raph would just up and leave do you?"

"What makes you say that?" Leonardo eyed his brother suspiciously.

"Because that's what he was going to do this morning before I woke you guys up," Donatello answered. He was just about ready to start looking for his brothers when he spied the old and worn green army bag still in its original spot on the ground. Breathing a sigh of relief, he turned to Leonardo. "His stuff is still here, I'm sure he'll be back soon."

"Who's coming back soon?" a voice piped up from behind.

Both turtles turned to see Michelangelo coming up the path, the metal grating and brush balanced on his head, his hands holding the edges.

"Raphael," Leonardo answered.

"He said he was going to go get lunch," Michelangelo answered, leaning his items against on of the logs.

"Well then," Leonardo scratched at his head. "I guess we had better get a fire started." Staring at the circle of rocks around the hole in the ground he looked back at the piece of metal his youngest brother set down. "I guess that goes over the fire and we cook on it."

"I guess," Michelangelo shrugged his shoulders. "I'll get the matches."

By the time Raphael returned, his brothers had a fire blazing and were sitting around it talking. He didn't say anything to them, just walked up.

His brothers looked up to see Raphael emerge from the undergrowth, a shaved tree limb in one hand, the end of it sharpened to a point. In his right hand was a string with four large salmon dangling lifelessly as the cord held them up by the gills. "Here," he handed them over to Michelangelo. "You know how to clean 'em right?"

Michelangelo stared at the dead fish, his eyes wide, and shook his head 'No'.

Raphael rolled his eyes and sighed. "Leo," he got the oldests attention. "You and Donnie need to move the extra wood away from the fire and cover it up in case it rains." He turned and headed down the path towards the water. "C'mon Mike," he said quietly. "Grab that pan you brought and follow me."

When he was sure the two were out of range, Leonardo asked Donatello. "Are you sure he was going to leave?"

"Pretty sure," Donatello answered, picking up a few more logs. "He was shoving everything in his bag and trying to sneak out." He stopped and looked Leonardo in the face. "I'm not sure if he was planning on coming back."

"What's gotten into him?" Leonardo asked, dropping the last pieces into the pile and covering them up with a small plastic tarp.

"You know Leo," Donatello sat back down and stared at the flames. "He asked me the strangest question last night."

Leonardo sat opposite Donatello. "He actually talked to you? What did he say?" He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.

"He wanted to know if I ever thought about what life would be like when Splinter dies."

Leonardo sat up straight, taken by surprise at the seriousness of the question. "What on earth brought that on? Splinter's not dying. I mean, he's gotten older, but he's not going to die anytime soon."

"No of course not. We don't know anyone who's passed away or is real sick," Donatello said. He sat silently and thought for a minute.

Leonardo focused on his brother's words and then put two and two together. "Donnie, it might not be someone we know, but what if it's someone Raph knows?"


	10. Chapter 10

this chapter is short, I'm sorry. I did finally explain who Frankie was/is. I almost regret introducing him in the beginning, but I might throw in a flashback that give his character a little more depth, maybe. But, Raph does explain who the guy is and once again, Mikey is the outlet for all my flubs on my first hunting/fishing expeditions. I was only four when grampy made me gut my first catch. It was defenitely gross, but I got used to it.

* * *

Raphael and Michelangelo returned promptly with the now cleaned and gutted fish. Oddly enough, Michelangelo seemed a bit greener than normal. He stumbled up the path behind Raphael, holding his stomach.

When they made it back to the campsite, he flopped down on one of the tree stumps and made a loud groaning noise. "That was the most disgusting thing ever," he let his tongue hang out for a minute and went "BLEAH!"

"It's just a couple of fish Mike," Donatello told him. "It couldn't have been that bad."

"He lost his breakfast," Raphael muttered, as he put the pan of fish on the metal grating. Michelangelo gave his brother a menacing glare for revealing that bit of information. A sizzle of the fish cooking slowly began to rise. "Here," he handed a bucket to Leonardo. "There's a blackberry bush down by the river. I had Mike pick 'em while I cleaned the fish. He washed 'em off in the water."

Leonardo gave his brother a puzzled look and held the bucket up. "What do you want me to do with them?" he asked.

"Nothing," Raphael answered, shrugging his shoulders. "I just thought you'd want to eat 'em with dinner or something."

"So how often do you come out here?" Donatello asked, sharing Leonardo's bucket of berries.

Michelangelo handed Raphael two small plastic containers, "Salt and pepper for the fish?"

"You should probably do this not me," Raphael conceded and moved out of the way. "You're a better cook than I am."

Happily Michelangelo took over and began digging through his back pack, looking through for any kind of seasoning that would work well with dinner. Once he was done with that and the fish were cooking, he pulled out a few plastic plates and some plastic forks.

"Raph," Donatello got his attention, blackberry juice now staining the corner of his mouth and fingers. "You never did answer my question. How often do you come out here?"

"That screams of a bad pickup line," Michelangelo giggled. He stopped when he got a look from Leonardo.

Raphael sat on the dirt and leaned up against a log, staring at the fire between him and his brothers. "I don't know," he shrugged his shoulders. "Every time we come to North Hampton I guess." He pulled his knees up to his chest. "Why?"

"Just curious is all," Donatello explained. "What do you do out here."

"Not much," Raphael began drawing circles in the dirt. "Hunt, fish, swim. Stuff like that."

Leonardo got up and walked around the pit and handed the small bucket to Raphael, offering him a few of the berries.

"No thanks," Raphael held his hand up. "I don't really like 'em. I just figured you would."

"Okay guys!" Michelangelo proudly announced holding up four plates with food on them. "Dinner is served!" Michelangelo eyed everyone warily as they began to taste their food, hoping he had done a good job.

"Nicely done Mike," Leonardo managed to get out in between mouthfuls of food.

"Definitely!" Donatello agreed, shoving another bite into this mouth.

"What about you Raph? Does yours taste okay?"

Raphael looked up to see his little brother staring at him, waiting to see if he was enjoying is food. He gave his brother a little smile and swallowed what he was eating. "It is good Mike," he said quietly. "Thanks."

At the end of dinner, the four brothers took their plates down to the river. Raphael grabbed the bucket and a bar of soap so they had something to wash their utensils in. It was getting to be a bit hot so a swim was suggested.

Michelangelo was the first one in. He was also the first one out. "That water's freezing!" he exclaimed shivering and dancing around trying to pat himself down.

"You just gotta get used to it," Raphael answered; his brother's watching as he slowly began to walk into the water. When he was a little over waist deep, he leaned down into it and swam away from shore.

Michelangelo and Donatello looked at Leonardo waiting to see what he would do.

He looked back at his brothers and shrugged his shoulders, "when in Rome," and slowly made his way in as well, followed by the remaining two turtles.

The silence of the woods and the gurgle of the water were soon drowned out by the noises of three brother's playing and hollering as they roughhoused in the water. One in particular, came bobbing up to the surface and looked around, noticing his red clad brother, still sitting in his original spot, on a flat piece of rock, the water level reaching the middle of his neck. Quietly, Donatello swam over to his brother and took a spot on the outcropping of rocks next to Raphael.

Raphael looked over at him for a moment and then turned his attention forward, letting out a sigh. The chill of the water made his breath cloud up as he exhaled. "What?"

"Nothing," Donatello admitted. "Just thought I'd come sit with you for awhile."

"Okay."

The two sat still for some time, Michelangelo wanted to go and join them but Leonardo stopped him, promising to explain later. Having swum around for awhile, the two decided to get out of the water and go get supper started, leaving Donatello and Raphael on the outcropping of rocks.

Donatello noticed that they had been sitting still for so long, his body was no longer bothered by the chilling temperature of the water. The fish had long since become used to the intruders. He laughed as they tried nipping at his feet and swimming in and out of his legs.

Raphael turned and saw what was making his brother laugh and let go of a little grin. "It always tickles the first couple of times."

"Raph?"

_Here it comes,_ he thought. "Yeah?"

"Where did you get that bag?" Donatello kept his eyes forward, watching the river flow towards him.

Raphael was a little surprised by that question. He thought for sure, Donatello would want to pick up their conversation from last night. Deciding it wouldn't hurt anything, Raphael told him. "I got it from a guy a knew. His name was or is Frankie."

"What do you mean?" Donatello turned his head towards his brother.

"I met him in Central Park one night. He was being beat up by some punks so I chased them off and got his stuff back. He was homeless."

"Why?"

Normally Raphael wouldn't have answered a question like that but he figured since he was talking about someone else, it wasn't a threat to him. "He was a Vietnam vet. Didn't adjust well to life in the states after he returned. I guess he saw some pretty bad shit while he was over there, somehow, he just ended up living on the streets." Raphael sunk down a little further into the water, the level now reaching up to just under his lower lip. "I used to go check on him every couple of weeks or when the weather got bad. You know," he looked at Donatello. "Make sure he had food and blankets and stuff."

Donatello nodded indicating he understood and leaned back a little more, feeling the dry skin prickle at the touch of the cold water. "What happened to him?"

"I went one day to check on him, only he wasn't there, just his stuff," he paused, wondering if he was starting to say too much. "And a note," he added. He took a deep breath and decided to finish his story before Donatello could ask another question. "He told me that appreciated the food and all. His daughter had found him and was taking him home. He was going to meet his grandkids," he inhaled and slowly exhaled. "Anyway, he said I could have his stuff since he was finally going home."

"Neat," was all Donatello said.

Raphael stood up on the rock that served as a seat and looked down at his brother. "I'm gonna go swim for a bit. Go check on Leo and Mike. Make sure they haven't burned down the trees, okay?" He started to jump off the rock and dive in but felt Donatello's hand on his lower leg, his eyes showing concern. "I promise not to leave, okay?"

Satisfied with the answer, Donatello let go and headed for shore, giving his brother some time alone. As he got closer to their camp, he could hear Leonardo and Michelangelo.


	11. Chapter 11

thanks to everyone for reviewing. There is only a few more chapters left and things will come a resolution.

* * *

Donatello made his way up the winding path back to the campsite. As he got closer, he could hear Leonardo and Michelangelo talking. 

"Well who died?"

"We're not sure Mike," Donatello heard as he rounded the corner and saw Leonardo tying to explain things to his brother. "We don't really even know for sure if someone did die, but considering the strange question Raph asked, it's a definite possibility."

Leonardo sat down on one of the tree stumps, looking up at Donatello as he walked over.

The sun was beginning to set, so Michelangelo decided to start dinner, making noise as he dug through their supplies. It was a simple meal, a can of beans and franks. He had also packed a can of nonstick cooking spray. "Ah Ha!" he blurted out, pulling the can from his bag. His brothers were bewildered as he began liberally spraying some slices of bread with it. Realizing their confused looks, Michelangelo grinned. "It's garlic flavored," he explained and placed the slices on the outer edge of the grating. His brothers still not quite getting it, the youngest turtle pointed down at the food. "Garlic toast."

"Ooooooh," his brother's responded, now enlightened.

Michelangelo quietly stirred the food and flipped the toast. Looking up to Leonardo, he broke the silence, "So what do we do now?"

"I'm not sure really," Leonardo answered, grabbing a few juice boxes from the small cooler they brought with them. "He's been talking to Donnie a bit," he pointed at their brother and tossed him a drink.

"Did he say anything earlier?"" Michelangelo asked as he caught the remaining drink.

"Yeah," Donatello said, his stomach starting to rumble. He eyed the food on the fire, it only making him hungrier. "Is it ready yet?"

"Shouldn't we wait for Raph?" Leonardo questioned from his seat on one of the logs.

Donatello leaned back against a tree stump and took a sip of his drink. "He told me was going to swim awhile. I don't know how long he'll be."

"Well," Michelangelo shrugged his shoulders. "I guess we can go ahead and start," he began dishing food out onto their plates. "So," Michelangelo continued the conversation from before, "what did Raph tell you about?"

Raphael loved swimming. The feeling of weightlessness, floating about with the current, he felt like it was the closest he would ever get to flying. The fact that he was a turtle made things even better. He could hold his breath for a good fifteen minutes, giving him plenty of time to explore the deeper depths of the river bed.

He liked the silence as well. His swims weren't without some noise. He heard the currents as the water rushed by his ears. He heard his heart beat heavier as he pushed his way to the bottom, muffled noises from above. All these sounds resonating together into a soothing rush of reverberation. Oddly enough, all the clatter seemed to have a calming effect on him.

Tonight was different however. The sounds from the outside world were drowned out by his thoughts. Coming to the surface, he grabbed another breathe of air, exhaling slowly and listening to laughter his brother's made off in the distance. Looking off towards the camp, the soft glow of the fire was making its way past the darkened silhouettes of the trees and to the river.

_One more dive,_ he thought to himself. _Then I'll head back._ The solitary turtle inhaled deeply and dropped back under the surface, releasing little bubbles of air and slowly sinking down. He felt himself fall slowly for a few minutes then stopped, reaching the floor of the river. He lay there for a bit, thinking and remembering.

"_When do I get to meet your brother's Raphael?" Mrs. Morrison asked. It was a beautiful spring day, the sun was actually out without a rain cloud in sight. Definitely a day to be out in the little garden. "Did you get that patch weeded?"_

"_Yes ma'am," Raphael answered brushing the dirt off his knees. "Here," he directed her to another row of vegetables. "I put the wire up for you to follow." _

_The old lady reached out and Raphael led her hand to a wire suspended parallel to a row of green beans. Carefully, she slid the hoe over until the handle of it was resting against the wire and began tapping into the dirt, stirring it up. "Thank-you dear. That was good idea." She continued working, a smile on her face. "I like being able to work in my garden again. However did you figure this out?"_

"_I don't know," he shrugged his shoulders and returned to weeding the watermelons. "I borrowed a book from my brother Donnie. He's got books on all sorts of stuff."_

"_Donatello," she thought hard, trying to remember which one was which. "He's the one you say is smart."_

"_Yes ma'am. Real smart." Raphael turned to watch her for a moment, making sure she wasn't going off the path. "He's the smartest guy I know. He can figure stuff out real quick."_

"_Now Leonardo," she turned towards the sound of his voice. "He's the one who's in charge of the four of you?"_

"_Yes," Raphael grumbled. "I hate it when he bosses me around. I don't always want to do what he says."_

"_Why do you have to do what he tells you? Is there some special reason he's the boss?"_

"_Well," Raphael sat back on his knees, trying to figure out how to explain things without telling too much. "You know how I explained we were all mutants?"_

_Mrs. Morrison nodded yes. "Four turtles and your father is a rat."_

"_Right," he went back to weeding. "Well that means we have to go out at night to scavenge what we need. We don't steal or anything. If we do get something from a store, we go when it's closed and only take something if we can leave money behind for it." Raphael pulled a worm out of his way and tossed it over to a finished area. "Anyway, we have to kind of work as a team and Leo is like our leader when it comes to stuff like that."_

"_I see," Mrs. Morrison answered. She had finished her small row and was feeling around for the next bit of wire. Finding it, she continued, "and then Michelangelo is the youngest, correct?"_

"_MmmHmm," Raphael answered, getting up to move a trowel out of her way. "He's probably the one I'm the closest with. He likes to write a lot. He used to make up stories when we were kids."_

"_Your family sounds so interesting," she answered him. "I do wish you would bring them over so I could meet them."_

_Raphael sighed, "I will," he conceded. _

"_But?"_

"_I kind of want to be selfish and keep you all to myself," he finished up the weeding and walked over to the table with two glasses and a pitcher of lemonade. He poured two glasses and then went to take the elderly woman's arm. "Let's get out of the sun," he told her. "It's getting too hot."_

_Agreeing, Mrs. Morrison allowed Raphael to direct her to the chair and she sat down in the shade against the back of her building. "Ah, thank you," she took a sip of her beverage. "I'll leave it up to you dear, but you will always be my favorite."_

_I'm sorry, _he thought to himself. _You shouldn't have died alone, I shouldn't have been so selfish. It wouldn't have hurt anything to let you meet my brothers would it?_

Raphael exhaled the last breath of air in his lungs and straightened himself, pointing his legs straight, rapidly ascending to the surface. When he broke the outer surface of the water, he sucked in another breath of air. He thought for a moment and finally decided, it wouldn't be so bad to tell his brothers about Mrs. Morrison, she deserved to be remembered. Swimming to shore, he decided to do this now, before he gave himself to the chance to change his mind.

Quietly he walked up to the camp, listening to his brother, laughing loudly. Michelangelo could be heard over all three, his giggles drowning his brothers out. Raphael stopped and stood on the outer edge, listening, smiling at his brother's laughter. _They aren't so bad,_ he thought to himself. _I guess Mrs. M was right, family is everything._ He listened a little more, the laughter dying down. He had to wonder what was so funny.

"Okay, okay," Michelangelo held his hand up, signaling defeat. "That was funny." He cleared his throat and began speaking again. "So our brother, tough as nails Raphael, played good Samaritan to a homeless vet? Wow."

Raphael stepped back, a hole building in his stomach. _They were laughing about me? I'm just a joke to them?_ Slowly and quietly, so as not to make anyone aware of his presence, he turned and headed back to the river, silent tears starting to form.


	12. Chapter 12

**Pleeeeeeaaaaaase don't hate me for how I ended the last chapter. I just hope I updated soon enough for everyone. But I must say, my love and adoration goes out to Psycho Babble for the joke that saved Leonardo's sense of humor.**

**Sorry for the cliffie at the end of this one (you've been warned) but I needed something dramatic to happen to give Raph the proverbial "slap in the face" to bring him back to reality and what's important to him. I'm already working on the next chapter so the update shouldn't be so long this time.**

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"Is it ready yet?" Donatello asked, his stomach starting to rumble. He eyed the food on the fire, it only making him hungrier.

"Shouldn't we wait for Raph?" Leonardo questioned from his seat on one of the logs.

Donatello leaned back against a tree stump and took a sip of his drink. "He told me was going to swim awhile. I don't know how long he'll be."

"Well," Michelangelo shrugged his shoulders. "I guess we can go ahead and start," he began dishing food out onto their plates. "So," Michelangelo continued the conversation from before, "what did Raph tell you about?"

Donatello and Leonardo both leaned forward and took the plates of food from their youngest brother. Leonardo immediately inhaled his food, Donatello quickly followed. He swallowed a few bites before he turned to answer Michelangelo's question. The youngest still eyeing him, anticipating an answer.

"Mmmmph," Donatello swallowed a large bite and held a finger up, indicating he was ready to tell. He drank a bit of juice and started talking. "Raph told me about a homeless guy he helped out awhile ago."

"Is he the one that died?" Leonardo asked. He leaned over towards the metal rack on the fire and took a piece of toast.

"I don't think so," Donatello said as his brother settled back into his dinner. Donatello ate another bite.

"Well who is he then?" Michelangelo asked, his plate already clean. He started to take another spoonful but stopped, afraid that there might not be enough for Raphael. Instead he grabbed a plastic wrapped desert cake from his bag. He held up the choices for his brothers. "Moon Pie or Oatmeal Crème Pie?"

"Oatmeal," Leonardo called out and held up his hand to catch the treat.

"Moon Pie!" Donatello excitedly claimed.

"Good," Michelangelo answered. "I get the Ho Ho. Raph can have the Twinkie."

Donatello happily caught his marshmallow cookie as his brother tossed it, the sound of the wrapper being torn into preceding his answer to his little brother's question. "Frankie was a vet apparently and was homeless. I guess Raph saved him from a mugging and they became friends. He said he used to take the guy food and blankets." He bit into his desert, crumbs being caught and tossed back into his mouth before they could escape. "I guess one day Raph went to check on him and he wasn't there anymore."

"Interesting," Leonardo rubbed at his chin with one hand, feeding himself with the other. "But he isn't dead right?" he asked in between bites.

"I highly doubt it. Raph said the guy left him a note and that he had gone back to live with his daughter."

"Great," Leonardo grumbled. "We're back at square one." He leaned his elbows on his knees, frustrated that he still didn't know what was bothering his brother. "What now?"

"Ummm……." Donatello thought for a moment and looked at his two brothers. "Not to change the subject or anything but I gotta ask you guys a question." He nervously played with the now empty wrapper and stared at the ground.

"What?" Michelangelo asked as he happily licked the chocolate and crème off his fingers.

"Splinter said something to me that…..well…. kind of has me worried," he looked up and stared at his two brothers. They sat silently and returned the look, waiting on him to finish. "Splinter said he's been watching us grow apart and I'm starting to think he's right." His voice cracked a bit with emotion, "I really don't want that to happen but I'm afraid it is."

"Hey Donnie," Michelangelo tried to comfort his brother. He moved over next to the saddened turtle and placed his arm around him. "We're not growing apart, we're all still pretty close." He gave his brother a squeeze and his best trademark Mikey smile but it didn't work.

"I'm afraid that we are Mikey," Donatello looked back at Leonardo, thinking about their brief conversation at the start of the week.

Michelangelo slowly loosened his grip on his brother and looked over at Leonardo, waiting for an explanation.

Donatello took the silence as his cue to continue. "Splinter asked me to describe the two of you and I did. I was pretty accurate," he looked at Michelangelo. "I even remembered how you hated peas as a kid. But," he shrugged his shoulders, "I couldn't really say anything about Raph." He hung his head down, a feeling of guilt starting to creep up on him.

"Hey don," Michelangelo's voice took on a serious tone. "I didn't find out until the other day that I didn't know Leo like I thought I did. Chances are, there are things Raph doesn't know about you." He gave his brother another squeeze trying to reassure him that everything was going to be okay.

Leonardo took a place on the other side of Donatello and smiled at him. "You were pretty smart to come up with the idea that we come out here with Raph. Maybe we can change how things are going now."

Donatello nodded in agreement and looked at Michelangelo. "So what didn't you know about Leo?"

Michelangelo let out a little smile, "Apparently he hates blueberries." He shrugged and shook his head, still smiling.

"Yeah," Donatello agreed. "I was wondering why he even ate the pancakes."

"Hey," Leo interjected. "I totally forgot about Mikey not liking peas." He started laughing as well. "You really hated them didn't you?"

"Yep," his grin got bigger. "I still do."

"Brussel sprouts," Leonardo blurted out.

"What?" both his brothers asked, confused by his statement.

"Raph hates brussel sprouts," he explained. "He used to flick 'em onto my plate when we thought no one was paying attention." Leonardo started to laugh a little more. "You guys want to hear a joke?"

"Aren't we going to try and figure out what's bugging Raph?" Michelangelo asked, trying to change the subject. He had heard his brother's jokes before and wasn't really interested in hearing another. They just weren't that funny.

"C'mon guys," he begged. "Please?"

"No offense Leo," Donnie tried to explain. "But your last joke was about a chicken crossing the road."

"What?" Leo asked clueless. "Chicken jokes are funny."

"Not when the reason for the crossing is," Michelangelo held up his fingers making little quotations around his statement, "because it was his karma."

"I promise," he started to whine, trying to irritate them into submitting. "It really is funny."

"Oh alright," Donatello and Michelangelo finally conceded. They steadied themselves, waiting for the hazardous punch line.

"What's the difference between a bugger and a brussel sprout?" Leonardo asked.

_It's a different shade of green,_ Michelangelo thought.

_One's a solid and ones a gel,_ Donatello answered to himself.

There was a moment of silence as Leonardo sat waiting for his joke to sink in. His brother's stared at him waiting on the ever present and bad joke. "The difference," Leonardo started, "between a booger and a brussel sprout is." His eyes shifted between his two brothers. He grinned mischievously, knowing he had his brothers with this one. "A five year old won't eat the brussel sprout." He grinned wide, waiting on a reaction.

Michelangelo stared, stunned and looked at Donatello. "mmmph," his lips started to curl.

Donatello started to giggle. They were both taken by surprise at the joke Leo had just told.

Leonardo looked at his brother's, proud of himself as their quiet little laughs turned into the two of them doubled over with laughter, Michelangelo being the loudest.

The two unbelieving brother's gave a few more giggles before finally settling down.

"Okay, okay," Michelangelo held his hand up, signaling defeat. "That was funny." He cleared his throat and began speaking again, shifting the conversation back to the current problem. "So our brother, tough as nails Raphael, played good Samaritan to a homeless vet? Wow."

"Speaking of which," Leonardo looked around at the darkened forest now enveloping them. "Shouldn't he have been back by now?"

"Yeah," Donatello stated, becoming nervous about what could possibly have happened. "Maybe we should go look for him."

Nodding in agreement, Leonardo reached into his backpack and pulled out the flashlights and passed them off to his brothers. "Here," he said tossing them over and turning his own light on. "Let's go back down by the river. Hopefully he's still there." Leonardo led the way, Michelangelo in the middle and Donatello bringing up the rear, their lights illuminating the dirt pathway and anything that might be in it.

"I hope he's okay," Michelangelo blurted out to no one in particular.

Carefully they made their way down to the bank, beams of light swinging back and forth, focusing on any noises that sounded out.

Reaching the river, they shone their lights around looking for their brother. After a few seconds of searching, they found a still figure leaned up against a tree, staring at nothing. "There," Leonardo whispered, nudging Donatello and Michelangelo.

Quietly they walked over. "Raph?" Leonardo whispered. He reached out to touch his brother on the shoulder to see if he was even aware that they were there.

"What?" he growled, Leonardo's hand stopping short of his brother's skin.

Leonardo straightened up, a bit startled by his brother's tone. "We got worried when you didn't come back," he tried to explain. "We wanted to make sure you were okay."

Raphael jerked his head around and glared at his brothers. Instantly he stood up and walked back down the path, his brother's in tow. He made it back to the campsite and looked at his belongings. _I could leave right now, _he thought. He looked up into the trees and everything disappeared into the dark night sky. _I'll wait till morning. I don't care if they do see me leave, it's not like I matter to them anyway. Let 'em find someone else to laugh at._

"Raph?" Michelangelo asked, standing right behind his brother. "I fixed dinner," he held a plate out.

Raphael looked at the food like it was poison and whipped back around. "I don't want it," he growled. He bent down and pulled his blanket out of bag. He threw the army sack over and used for a pillow and laid down, his back to his brothers. "I'm tired," was the only explanation he offered as he pulled the blanket up and tried to get to sleep, leaving his brothers stunned and confused.

Donatello and Michelangelo both looked to Leonardo for an explanation. All he could do was shrug his shoulders and admit he didn't know what to do. Sighing, all three just pulled their blankets out and tried their best to go to sleep, resigning themselves to the fact that they would have to wait until morning to find out what was going on.

Michelangelo was the first of the group to wake up, his stomach acting as his alarm clock. He took out a pot and filled it with water and pulled out a few tea bags. The morning tea taken care off, he pulled out a few items for breakfast, bagged pieces of coffee cake and fruit cups. He smiled briefly, satisfied that what he pulled out would hold his brothers until lunch. Looking over at the fire, he put a few more pieces of wood on it to keep the flames from going out.

Raphael was the next to wake. Immediately he set to rolling up his blanket and trying to stuff it in his bag.

Carefully and quietly, Michelangelo eased up to his brother. "Raph? I've got some tea going and pulled some stuff out for breakfast." His brother just kept packing his things, checking to make sure everything was in his bag.

"Aren't you hungry?" Michelangelo tried to get him to talk.

"Nope."

"C'mon Raph, what's bugging you?" he put his hand on Raphael's shoulder, trying to get his older brother to turn around and talk to him.

"Don't touch me," Raphael growled slapping Michelangelo's hand away. "I don't want to talk to you and I don't want you talking to me! Got It?" He grabbed his bag and began to put it over his shoulder, unaware that the conversation had woken his brother's up.

"What's going on?" Donatello asked sleepily, still rubbing his eyes trying to wake up. They grew wide when he saw Raphael packed up, obviously ready to leave his brother's behind. "You promised Raph," he pointed at the angry turtle. "You promised you wouldn't leave," he stated again, slightly panicked.

"Calm down Donnie," Leonardo spoke softly, trying to ease the tension. "Raph's not going anywhere." He looked directly at Raphael and tried asking him a question. "What's going on Raph? What's got you so angry?" Leonardo stepped in between everyone and placed himself directly in front of Raphael. He knew from experience that arguments could get physical with his brother and he wasn't going to let Michelangelo or Donatello get hurt.

"Like you don't know," Raphael answered him accusingly. "You think I didn't hear the three of you last night?" his voice started to rise in volume. "I'm some stupid joke to all of you!" He pointed a finger past Leonardo to Donatello. "And you," he growled. "You try to get me talk to you and what happens, you blab to everyone else and make fun of me!" He shook his head and let out a snort. "From now on, you leave me alone." He turned to try and leave but felt a hand on his shoulder. Quickly he spun around expecting to see Leonardo trying to stop him. Surprisingly it was Michelangelo.

"Raph wait!" He looked at him pleading for his brother to stay. "We didn't………"

"You know what Mikey!" Raphael cut him off. "I don't care what you did or didn't say," he pushed him back. "Do whatever you want, go climb a tree for all I care," he pushed again. "I don't need any of you!"

Hurt by his brother's words, Michelangelo backed off and started to walk away. He tried to fight the tears that formed in his eyes but he couldn't. Embarrassed, he ran toward the riverbank, away from everyone else.

Raphael just stood there with his fists balled up, the position of his body daring someone else to try and stop him. He glared at his two remaining brothers.

"Donnie," Leonardo stated, looking back behind him. "Go check on Mike. I'll make sure Raph doesn't go anywhere."

Nodding in agreement, Donatello ran off to go check on his little brother.

Raphael stood firm as Leonardo moved in close to him. He fully expected his older brother to try and fight him and force him to stay. Surprisingly, he didn't. He just kept talking.

"C'mon Raph," he started. "You need to tell me what's going on. What are you so angry about?"

Raphael just folded his arms, refusing to speak.

Leonardo sighed. _Well, at least he's not trying to run off,_ he thought to himself. _At least, not yet._ Again he tried to get his brother to talk to him. "Raph we weren't laughing at you." He stepped closer, "We are worried about you." He moved in even more.

"You got a funny way of showing it Leo," he growled, his lips curling. "I'm leaving," he stated flatly. "You guys……" he shook his head, not finishing his sentence. "I don't need any of you anymore." He turned around to walk off, as he did, he heard Donatello's voice scream.

"MIKEY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Abruptly, both Leonardo and Raphael turned around, looking down the path to the riverbank.

Again, Donatello called out, "Help!"

Immediately, Leonardo grabbed Raphael by the arm and dragged him as fast as he could down to the water. When they got there, they saw Donatello dragging Michelangelo up to the riverbank and lay him down. Frantically he started checking the unconscious turtle.

"Leo!" Donatello looked up worried. "He's not breathing!"


	13. Chapter 13

_ I hope this update was fast enough for everyone. I know I left a good bit of you in a lurch with the ending to chapter 12. Mikey fans, I hope you're not to mad at me for that last chapter. Anyway, things are starting to get better but the story isn't over yet. Raph still has to make things up to for April having to keep his secret from his family._

"MIKEY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Abruptly, both Leonardo and Raphael turned around, looking down the path to the riverbank.

Again, Donatello called out, "Help!"

Immediately, Leonardo grabbed Raphael by the arm and dragged him as fast as he could down to the water. When they got there, they saw Donatello dragging Michelangelo up to the riverbank and to lay him down. Frantically he started checking the unconscious turtle.

"Leo!" Donatello looked up worried. "He's not breathing!"

_He's not breathing._ Slowly those words echoed in Raphael's head, weighing heavily. The world seemed to come to almost a stop as he watched his brother's move in what seemed like slow motion, to try and revive his little brother, the one he said he didn't need. This was his baby brother in front of him, lying there lifeless, unmoving. "No," he whispered and the world started spinning around him. "Breathe Mikey," he ordered. Raphael tried yelling it but it only seemed to squeak out. He suddenly felt so detached, as if he was no longer a part of anything going on around him and all he could do was watch his little brother die.

"No," he said again, a little louder this time.

Donatello pushed on Michelangelo's chest, counting compressions.

"Breathe Mikey," Raphael spoke up.

Donatello stopped and looked at Raphael as Leonardo blew air into his brother's lungs.

Raphael's backpack slipped of his shoulders and he stumbled forward, trying to close the gap between himself and this sickening scene that was playing out before him. "Don't go Mikey," he stretched his hand out, stepping forward again. "You can't leave me too."

Leonardo stared at Raphael as Donatello began the chest compressions again. He watched his brother step forward again, a little more determined.

"It's not working Leo!" Donatello panicked, still pushing on Michelangelo's chest plates.

"Try harder," Leonardo told him, counting out the compressions, getting ready, once again, to blow air into his brother's lungs.

"NO!" Raphael spoke out, almost a yell. "You can't leave me Mikey!" He hit his knees, landing in the dirt next to Michelangelo's still body. Without thinking, Raphael roughly shoved Donatello out of the way and brought both fists down, on Michelangelo's chest. "BREATH!"

Raphael's hands came down, hard, the force expelling the water from Michelangelo's lungs.

Donatello quickly rolled his brother over as he coughed out the last bit of liquid and began gasping for air.

Raphael sat there, stunned. He realized that his brother had almost died and his last words to him would have been nothing but hate. He stared at Michelangelo, wanting to make sure his brother was okay.

"Raph," he heard a voice whisper. Raphael was so focused on Michelangelo it made his own name seem distant, unfamiliar. "Raphael," he heard the word again, this time it was accompanied by a hand on his shoulder. He looked over to see Leonardo staring him in the eye.

"You said for Mikey not to leave you too. Who else were you talking about?" Leonardo gave his brother a sincere look. "You need to tell me Raph, who was it?"

Raphael sat quietly for a moment, his eyes moving back and forth between his own hands and Leonardo's face. He tried to focus his thoughts to answer the questions. "mrs…….mrs. morrison," he managed to utter out. "she….she died a few months ago."

"Okay," Leonardo continued talking quietly to his brother.

"It's not okay Leo," he shook his head and felt the back of his eyes start to sting. "She….she died alone," he looked back down at the ground, ashamed of himself. "It was my fault Leo," he looked back up. "She should have had someone there with her but she didn't. She didn't deserve that, but I did it to her."

"Listen to me Raph," Leo grabbed his brother by the shoulders. "We're going to help Donnie move Mikey back to the camp and take care of him. Then, you're going to tell us what happened," he squeezed his brother's shoulder's trying to reassure him. "You can't keep this to yourself anymore."

A little while later the four brothers' were seated around the pit, the fire going at a soft crackle. Leonardo moved the grate out of the way so they could all see each other. Leonardo and Donatello sat side by side on top of one of the logs, facing Raphael. Raphael was seated on the ground, legs outstretched. Michelangelo was lying down, his head resting on Raphael's right leg, a damp cloth covering the knot on his forehead.

"I'm sorry Mike," he said to his little brother. His right hand was resting on Michelangelo's shoulder, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing at his brother's skin.

Michelangelo just smiled and shut his eyes, his head still at a dull throb. He brought his hand up and squeezed Raphael's, letting him know that it would be okay. He didn't move it back, he just left his hand resting on top of Raphael's.

"Your head still hurt?" Raphael whispered.

Michelangelo looked up, "Not as bad, the stuff Donnie gave me is making it go away."

Leonardo watched his two brother's for a moment. It was a rare scene for Raphael to show such affection and he didn't want to interrupt it. Instead he turned his attention to Donatello. "Does he have a concussion?"

"I doubt it," Donatello whispered back. "I checked his eyes out with a flashlight but we can keep him awake for awhile just to be sure. I only gave him some Tylenol so it shouldn't make him sleepy."

"What happened?"

"He did what Raph told him to, climbed a tree." Donatello shook his head, trying to erase the scene from his mind. "The branch wasn't strong enough and he came down head first. There must have been a rock a foot or so below the surface and he grazed up against it."

Leonardo nodded his head in agreement and looked back across the fire at the two turtles. He decided it was time to start asking questions. "Who was Mrs. Morrison, Raph?" He looked over, expecting an answer.

Raphael let out a breath and thought about what to say. He finally started to speak. "She was an elderly woman who was blind. I used to go help her out a couple of times a week. She lived by herself with her cat Lucy." He let out a little grunt and a smile when he remembered her. "She was really nice, didn't care that I was a freak."

"What did you do when you went over there?" Michelangelo asked from his position on the ground. He shifted a bit, trying to get more comfortable.

"Just stuff," he shrugged.

"Like what?" Leonardo pushed.

"Well," he thought back. "We would work in her garden, she would tell me about stuff she did when she was a kid. If something was broken I would fix it for her." He chuckled a bit. "Once a week was tea time," he admitted.

"You went to an afternoon tea?" Donatello asked unbelievingly.

"Yeah," he drew his left leg up and rested his head on his knee. "I kept forgetting and would slurp my tea. Never got used to that." He looked down at Michelangelo; his face showed that his headache was easing up. "Remember those cookies I kept bringing home that you liked so much?"

"The ones with the chocolate chip and cranberry? At Christmas time? With the nuts?"

"MmmmHmm," Raphael nodded yes. "She made those."

"What did you mean when you said it was your fault?" Leonardo interrupted. "What were you talking about?"

Raphael looked around at his brother's faces, all of them waiting on him to answer. "She kept asking me to bring you guys over to meet her," he couldn't look at anyone he felt so guilty. His voice cracked a bit, "I kept putting it off, telling her I would one day but I never did." He cleared his throat, trying not to cry. "I went by to check on her one day and she was still in bed. At…at first I thought she was just asleep but she wasn't. She must have died in the middle of the night." He sucked in a breath of air and tried to steady himself. "If I had just done what she asked, one of us could have been with her, instead……." He never finished his sentence. He pulled his hand away from Michelangelo and brought it over to his face. Still resting on his left knee, he buried his head in his arms and softly started crying.

Leonardo and Donatello stared for a moment. Crying was not a natural act for Raphael. At least not that they had witnessed since they were small children.

Michelangelo looked up and rolled over, trying to get to his knees. Quietly he slipped his arms around his brother's shoulders but didn't say anything for a few moments.

Raphael drew his other leg up and continued to hide his face, trying to control himself.

"You know," Michelangelo finally whispered, loosening his grip on his brother. "We won't think any less of you for crying."

"Mike's right," Raphael heard Leo's voice and felt two hands on his arm. Peeking up from behind his folded arms, he saw Donatello and Leonardo sitting on the ground in front of him, smiling.

"I'm okay," he finally muttered. "I just miss her still." He paused, taking in a breath. "It hurts that she's gone."

"Is that why you started to distance yourself from us?"

Raphael looked over a Donatello and nodded yes, "That was one reason."

His brother's just stared at him, expecting him to finish his explanation. He rested his chin on his arms and stared at the ground. His brothers settled back into their places on the ground next to him. "All I could think of," he started. "Was how much it hurt and how much I missed her." He stopped and swallowed the lump in his throat. "Then I realized that Splinter was getting older and all the dangerous stuff we do………" He tried to rethink what he was saying so it made sense. "If it felt so bad when I spent such a short time with someone, how bad would it hurt when one of you or Splinter or Casey or April went? I thought that maybe if I……." He stopped and rubbed at his face and looked back down at the ground. "I just knew I wouldn't be able to go through that again."

"If and when that does happen," Leonardo started to answer him. "You're not going to go through it alone, you shouldn't force yourself to." He leaned forward and squeezed Raphael's arm. "We're family; we make it through things like that together." He smiled and gave another squeeze, "Okay?"

"Okay," Raphael nodded. He sat quietly for another minute, still thinking. "So….." he looked up, embarrassed by how he had acted earlier. "If you guys weren't laughing at me last night, what were you laughing at?"

"Leo," Michelangelo stated proudly, "told a joke."

"It was funny?" Raphael pointed at Leonardo and gave Michelangelo a confused look.

"Actually, it was," Donatello answered.

"Hey!" Leonardo answered slightly insulted. "I'm not that bad."

"Leo," Raphael started. "Karma is NOT a funny reason for a chicken crossing the road."

Leonardo just shook his head and let it droop. "I'm never going to live that one down am I?"

"Afraid not bro," he answered. Raphael turned his attention back to Michelangelo. "How's your head?"

"Better," the youngest grinned.

"We can go back if it's bothering you," Raphael suggested.

"No, it's okay really. I wouldn't mind staying out here another night or two," Michelangelo explained. "It's kind of cool seeing all those stars at night and hearing noises that aren't cars honking their horns or people yelling at each other."

Everyone nodded in agreement with Michelangelo and it was decided at least one more day was in order. The four of them sat there a little longer, just talking, until a noise interrupted them.

"Hungry Raph?" Leonardo looked at him with a smile.

"Uh, yeah," he gave a sheepish grin. "Guess I shouldn't have skipped dinner huh?" He leaned over the back of the log and picked the sharpened stick and looked at his brothers. "Anybody want to go fishing?" He gave a big grin. "I know a really good spot."

"Sounds good to me."

"I'm up for it."

"Okay," Michelangelo was the last to answer. "But this time," he jerked his thumb at Donatello as everyone got up. "Donnie gets to gut and clean the fish."

"Hey Raph," Donatello asked as they followed their brother through the dense undergrowth.

"Yeah?" Raphael answered, ducking under a limb.

"Didn't you say Mrs. Morrison had a cat named Lucy?" He watched as Raphael began cutting at the small limb as he did with another one the day before.

"I did, why?" Raphael passed it off to Leonardo so he could trim it up with the bowie knife.

"Well," Donatello held another branch down for Raphael to cut. "What happened to it when she died?"

"Tyler is taking care of her for me," he explained, cutting off the second small branch and looking for one more.

"Oh," he paused and looked at his other two brothers. They shrugged their shoulders, revealing they didn't know who Tyler was either. "Who's Tyler?"

Raphael just turned and grinned, one final branch in his hand, waiting to be trimmed. "Tell you guys at dinner?" He turned to walk off and motioned for his brothers to follow him. "C'mon," he waited for them. "I've got something really cool to show you guys."


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm sorry this update took so long. I've had some issues to deal with at home. But every thing is better now so hopefully I'll have this story done soon. This isn't the last chapter so don't worry. I want to do a scene with Raph and April and then I'll try to wrap it up. Maybe I'll throw in an epilogue. Who knows? Anyway, I hope ya'll aren't disappointed. And you should probably send Thalpomene a bit of thanks. She poked at me to update, so I did. I'm glad I did too, it helped me work some things out, so thanks kiddo. Love ya! BTW, the last scene, it was kind of inspired by "Wish you were Here" by Incubus.**

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Raphael quietly watched from the riverbank as Leonardo and Donatello roughhoused in the water. It had been a long day and had started off horribly wrong. He had said some terrible things to his brothers and as a result, Michelangelo had been hurt. But now, after talking a little with his brothers and telling them some of what was going on, he was starting to feel like his old self again, almost. There were still a few issues that weighed heavily on his mind. He knew that when he returned to the farmhouse, he would have to deal with them. If not, it would seriously hurt a friendship he valued.

Raphael leaned back, rested his head up against the tree, and watched as the sun slowly started to sink behind the trees. Shutting his eyes, he drew his legs up a bit and rested his hands on them. Slowly he exhaled and tried to tune out the noises around him. It wasn't working. Frustrated he tried again to clear his cluttered mind and push all the noises away. Still no luck.

Aggravated with himself, his face curled into a scowl and he growled inwardly. _Fine,_ he argued with all the little disturbances. _You wanna' distract me? Go ahead!_

Raphael changed his strategy and started focusing on the different sounds instead of trying to push them away. First he paid attention to the splashing of the water and the laughter of his two siblings. The sound caused a small smile to emerge on his face. He moved on and continued listening. A breeze gently pushed its way past the leaves, causing the foliage to rustle in the wind. He paid close attention as it wound its way down and brushed past his face.

Michelangelo sat on a rock a few feet away and watched his brother intently, studying his face. At first he thought Raphael might be trying to meditate. But Raphael's reactions to everything around him proved the assumption wrong. What really seemed odd to Michelangelo was his brother's reaction to the oncoming breeze.

He watched curiously as Raphael's eyes popped open and he looked around as if someone else were there. Concerned, Michelangelo got up from his perch and walked over to his brother. He sat down and looked over at Raphael. "You okay?" he asked, crossing his ankles and leaning back on his hands.

"Huh?" Raphael looked over to his left, surprised at his brother's presence.

"I said," Michelangelo repeated. "Are you okay? You looked a little jumpy for a moment."

"Yeah," Raphael settled back into his spot against the tree. "I just thought that…" He paused again and looked around. "It must have been nothing." He looked over at Michelangelo who was still staring at him. "What?"

"Nothing."

Raphael shut his eyes again and leaned back against the tree.

Michelangelo once more stared at his brother. Gingerly he fingered the small knot on his head. The childish expression that once graced his face was replaced by a more thoughtful and serious look. "Hey Raph?" Michelangelo asked.

Raphael's left eye opened only a little. "Yeah?" he shut his eye and went back to listening.

Michelangelo sat up and crossed his legs. Nervously he drew lines in the dirt, trying to work up a little courage. "Why didn't you tell us about meeting Mrs. Morrison or Tyler?"

Raphael's eyes popped open and he stared back at Michelangelo. His brother's voice sounded so hurt.

"Was there a reason?" the youngest continued. "Didn't you trust us?" Michelangelo looked up at his brother, his eyes wide.

Shamefully, Raphael hung his head. "I don't know," he whispered, shrugging his shoulders.

"Yes you do."

"Mikey," Raphael looked up, hands outstretched. "I…" he was getting frustrated. It was hard for him to find the right words. "I guess I just wanted something of my own, you know?"

No answer.

Again Raphael shrugged his shoulders and stared at the ground. "I trust you guys," he looked up. "I really do. I just like to keep things to myself."

Michelangelo cocked his head and leaned back on his hands again.

"I'm sorry," Raphael continued. "I know it's not much of an explanation. But it's the best I can do right now."

It was silent for a few more moments. The quiet was finally broken when Leonardo and Donatello walked up onto the riverbank. The brother's had their arms on each other's shoulders, laughing. "Hey guys," Leonardo plopped down, out of breath.

Donatello sat down but looked back and forth between the two turtles. "Did we interrupt something?"

"Nah," Michelangelo smiled. "We're good."

Looking at each other, Leonardo and Donatello just shrugged their shoulders, letting the moment of awkward silence pass without question.

"So Raph," Donatello started. "The next time we come out here, could you take me to that cave again?"

"Yeah," Raphael answered curiously. "Why?"

"You were right," Donatello admitted. "That underwater cave was cool. I'd like to come back. With the proper equipment I could get some water and plant samples."

"Again?" Michelangelo interrupted. "Why?"

"Because," Donatello shrugged his shoulders. "I just like to study that stuff. I think it's interesting to see what things are made up of." Donatello looked around at his three brothers. "What, you guys didn't think the cave was fun?"

"Well yeah," Leonardo admitted. "It was, but..."

"What?"

"I kind of liked seeing those deer today." Leonardo looked at Raphael. "How did you know where to find them?"

"They're creatures of habit," Raphael said. "You can see the trails they make in the woods. As long as they have a food source, they'll keep returning to the same spots, generally around the same time."

"What about you Mikey?" Leonardo continued the conversation. "What did you like better, the cave or the deer?"

"Neither," he looked at the shocked looks on his brother's faces. "It was neat but it wasn't the best part," he shook his head.

"Okay then," Raphael became curious. "What then?"

"You guys won't laugh at me will you?" he asked sheepishly.

Everyone shook their heads 'no.'

"It's a toss-up," he explained. "I can't decide between catching my first fish or seeing all those stars at night. Now THAT," he emphasized, "is cool."

"Speaking of which," Leonardo spoke up. "It's getting dark. We should probably make our way back to camp."

Agreeing, everyone got up and headed back to their site, Raphael leading the way with the flashlight.

Upon returning, Leonardo and Michelangelo started the fire and sat on the logs that surrounded the dancing flames. Donatello dug through a bag and pulled out a small bottle passing it off to his younger brother. "Here," he said softly. "You looked like you were getting a headache."

Smiling weakly, Michelangelo nodded in agreement and quickly washed the little pills down with a bottle of water. When he was finished, he sleepily grabbed his blanket and lay down to get some rest.

Quietly, Raphael moved closer so he was by his brother. "Sorry Mike," he whispered as he rubbed the back of his brother's head.

"S'okay Raph," Michelangelo patted Raphael's hand. "S'okay."

Tired from a full day of hunting, fishing, swimming and exploring, everyone lay down and went to sleep.

Morning came all too early for three of the turtles. Light streamed through the tree tops, illuminating the bright green of the spring foliage. Birds began chirping and squirrels started running around to gather their day's supply of food.

"Where's the off button for those things?" Michelangelo grouched. Still tired from getting little sleep, he pushed himself up from his blanket and looked around.

"They don't have one," Donatello mumbled.

"Am I the only one that didn't get any sleep last night?" Leonardo asked as his brother's tired voices filled his ears. Sleepily, he sat up and leaned against the log behind him, Michelangelo and Donatello doing the same.

"What's with you guys?" Raphael came from out of the bushes, a bucket of berries in hand.

"You didn't hear that ungodly screeching last night?" Donatello asked amazed. He was surprised his brother looked so well rested when the rest of them obviously had little to no sleep at all.

"It wasn't screeching," Michelangelo argued. "It was a howl."

"No," Leonardo gave his opinion. "I can't put my finger on it but it wasn't a howl or screech. It was worse."

Agreeing, Michelangelo and Donatello just nodded.

"How did you not wake up from that?" Leonardo asked. "It was horrible. It sounded like something was dying."

"Dunno," Raphael shrugged his shoulders. Stoking the fire, he put the stew pot on the stove to heat up water for coffee. "Guess I'm just used to it." Passing off the bucket, he got out some cups and a plastic container of instant coffee. That task done, he sat back on a log and looked at his brother's tired faces, trying not to laugh. "You do know what it was don't you?"

"No."

"Un uh."

"Haven't a clue."

Raphael let a small grin escape and covered his face with his hands, trying to stifle a giggle. Taking a breath and looking back up he finally explained to his brother's what they heard. "That noise you heard was a bunch of wild hogs."

"What on earth were they doing to make that noise?" Donatello asked.

"It's spring Don," Raphael looked directly at him. "What do you think they were doing?"

"Eeeeewwwwww!" Michelangelo blurted out. "Did they have to do it while we were trying to sleep? I mean, can't they get a motel room or something?"

Raphael shook his head and laughed. "If it's colder at night, that's when they're going to be the most active. Same thing with the deer." The water now boiling, he paused to fix everyone a cup of coffee. He finished his little lesson when everyone had a drink and was eating some of the wild berries. "If it's warmer in the daytime, that's when they go find a field and lay out in the sun. And," he continued. "Since last night was a full moon, they were even busier. They'll be moving around now and looking for a place to bed down and get warm." His grin was a little more apparent now.

"Now that," Leonardo observed. "Is something I haven't seen in a long time."

"It's about time," Michelangelo stated. "I was beginning to think that wasn't ever going to happen again."

Donatello just smiled, nodded, and sipped on his coffee.

There was silence again, but this time, it was a comfortable one. That is until, the thunder started and rain immediately fell. A series of complaints and grumbles were heard in between the loud rumbles. Quickly, three of the turtles grabbed their coffee and took shelter under a tree limb thick with leaves. Raphael, however, stayed where he was.

He stared at the raindrops and watched intently as they trickled down leaves and limbs, taking the layers of dirt and dust with them as they went. Raphael smirked and looked at his arms. The rain made its way down his shoulder and then his forearm. They lingered on his fingertips before finally fell to the ground. Again, the water took bits of dirt and dust with it. His smirk turned into a small laugh.

His brothers stood under the makeshift shelter and eyed him curiously. _What's he doing?_ They all wondered.

Enjoying the effect the little drops were having on his skin, Raphael stood up, laughing louder. Again, his brothers stared and tried to find what was so funny.

His laughter louder, the thunder echoed his voice. He cheered in return. Again the thunder clapped. "Yeah!" he yelled back, jumping up and down, raising his hands in encouragement.

"Uh, Leo," Michelangelo tapped his brother on the shoulder.

Leo just shook his head at Michelangelo. "Our stuff is getting soaked and he's happy about it. Don't ask me Mikey, I haven't a clue."

SPLAT!!!!

Donatello and Michelangelo looked on in confusion as a ball of mud dripped its way down Leonardo's face. Raphael's laughter could be heard behind them.

"Actually Leo," Donatello smiled. "I think Raph's got the right idea." Without hesitation, Donatello jumped out into the rain to join his brother.

Looking at each other and shrugging their shoulders, Leonardo and Michelangelo followed suit, whooping and hollering as well.

Three hours later, four very muddy turtles stood on the front step of an old farmhouse, their father and friends looking on. Each one took their turn standing under the hose. April refused to let them enter the house until they were properly washed down.

Raphael went last and when he was finally washed off, he walked up to the front steps of the house. Still standing at the bottom step he looked his father in the eye. "Hey," he whispered.

"Yes?" Splinter asked, cocking his head at his son.

Pointing at the smile on his face Raphael responded. "Look what I found."


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks to everyone for reviewing. I'm almost done with this one and then I'm gonna focus on my other two, Retribution and My Present Darkness. Both are more than halfway finished. BTW, Buslady pointed out a fact about VW vans. Get ready for a good laugh, seriously. They don't have hoses and radiators. They're air cooled. Meh, what can I say. I made a big, Giant, HUGE mistake. I know American engines but apparently not German. Anywho, I know it's wrong but I'm gonna stick with the whole busted hose new radiator theory. Laugh away people, I know I did.**

April stood on the porch of the old farmhouse and stared of into the distance. Her eyes focused on a large green mound that would occasionally move as it rested on the ground. To an unfamiliar eye, it would seem like part of the natural landscape blending in with the surrounding grass sprouting about. She smiled as she watched her friend lay about.

Raphael was more relaxed than he was when the family first arrived. His current position showed that. He was stretched out on his plastron, his head resting comfortably on his arms, soaking in the sun. His bandanna was lying on the ground next to him. Occasionally, he would lift his head up, yawn and switch positions.

April laughed and shook her head as she stepped off the front porch. Holding tightly to the two glasses of iced tea, she walked over to where Raphael lay.

The large turtle could hear her coming. The ice knocking about in the drinks and her footsteps on the ground alerted him to her presence. He wasn't sure if he wanted April there with him at the moment. Part of him wanted her there. He knew he needed to talk to her, to straighten things out. But another part of him twisted up in knots at the mere thought of her presence. Sometimes she made feel nervous, scared, or even embarrassed. Fidgety, fidgety was a good word.

The closer she got, the more he played with things around him. He would pluck at the grass; his feet would tap the ground. Raphael sighed, frustrated with himself. He focused his attention on his mask, picking it up, tying and untying the knot. His green fingers contrasted with the red fabric as they twisted up in it.

"You're going to pull your mask apart if you don't stop," April commented as she stood next to him. Without even asking, she sat down beside him, crossing her legs. "Here," she passed over the glass in her left hand. "I thought you might like something to drink."

"Thanks," Raphael whispered. He hadn't looked at her yet, he was almost afraid to. Well not maybe afraid but definitely uncomfortable. He shut his eyes and listened to everything around him. The sounds of the birds, breeze, and noises from the barn were drowned out by the clinking of the ice in her glass as she tipped it back to drink.

"April?"

"Yes?"

Raphael turned, finally getting the courage to look her in the eye. "I'm sorry," he whispered to her. "I never should have made you keep everything quiet." He stared at the ground, waiting for the right words to appear before him. It didn't work. All he saw was a line of ants scurrying about, not even concerned with the conversation going on above them. "I just………," he stopped when he felt her hand on the back of his neck, rubbing it gently.

"It's okay Raph," April spoke softly to him, her fingers tracing the line between his neck and the base of his head. "It's over and done with, okay?" Gently, she placed her hand under his chin and made him look at her. "I'm just glad you're back."

Raphael looked at April's eyes as she smiled at him. He loved how her eyes shone that brilliant blue hue of theirs. They always seemed to hold his attention when she spoke to him. He smiled back at her. It was hard not too. With April, her smiles were always contagious.

Grinning, he sat up, careful not to knock his drink over. Without another word he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her. His smile grew when she hugged him back. "Missed you," he whispered.

"Missed you too."

After a few minutes of silence, the pair let go. April, enjoying the warmth of the sun, laid back. She giggled at the feeling of the grass tickling her bare feet. Shutting her eyes, April took comfort in the moment of contented silence. Opening her eyes, April looked over to see Raphael watching her. "You're staring at me," she scolded, smiling.

Raphael smiled and nodded. He leaned back on his left arm and finished off the cold drink his friend had brought him. Loudly he crunched on a piece of ice, mulling over certain thoughts, ideas, feelings. The large turtle wondered if he was brave enough to actually tell her. "Hey April," he spoke up.

"Yes?" she sat back up and scooted closer to Raphael's side.

"Wanna know another secret?"

"Sure."

Why was it so easy to tell her things? He had to wonder why it was April he told his private thoughts too. Maybe because even though she was human, she seemed to understand him most. "I used to have a crush on you," he finally admitted.

"I know," April looked at him smiling. "I don't think I had ever been so flattered in my life." Gently she nudged his shoulder. "You still do."

"No," he nudged her back. "It's more than that." He sighed and leaned back on both hands. "I think I love you." His answer came out as more of an unsure thought than a statement. He probably wasn't making the best choice telling her all this, but he trusted her. April would never hurt him intentionally and he knew that. But, even he had to admit, this was testing the limits of their friendship.

"Raph," April answered him, almost pitifully.

"It's okay," he interrupted her, still looking forward. "I know you love Casey. I'm glad in a way." Bravely he looked over at her face, disguising another stolen glance as part of the conversation. "Casey's a good guy and he needs someone like you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to him."

Embarrassed by the compliment, April grinned, turning her head to the ground but still looking up. "Thanks," she whispered.

He had to smile as she flashed him that grin. The one that made her eyes sparkle even more, the one that made her face light up. The look was enough. It may be all he would ever have, but he was happy with that. Raphael couldn't begrudge Casey for what he had with April. The guy was his best friend and he would do anything for Casey. Including staying out of the way.

Raphael turned his attention away from April and to the sky.

It was silent for awhile longer. He felt another bump on his shoulder, the red head pushing on him again. "Happy Birthday by the way."

"I forgot about that," he giggled. "Thanks." He sighed and laid back, leaning on his elbows. His face continued to fixate on the clouds in the sky. He looked over as he felt a weight on his plastron.

April's head was resting on him, her eyes glued to the clouds above. She was trying to find what ever it was that was holding his attention. "You never did tell anyone what you wanted for your birthday."

"Hey, April?" he looked back above him. "You think I'll always be alone?"

"Absolutely not," April stated with certainty in her voice.

"You really think so?" His eyes watched a cloud as it moved. It looked like horse's head.

"Are you kidding me?" she giggled. "One look at those chocolate brown eyes of yours and any girl is going to be hooked." April looked long and hard at his face. She wasn't quite sure but she thought she might have actually made him blush, even if just for moment. "So," she kept talking. "Two questions."

"Shoot," he answered leaning further back and staring once more at the sky.

"One, what are you doing out here all by yourself and two," she leaned up and stared him in the face, giving him a sly grin. "What do you really want for your birthday?" April leaned back to her original position as Raphael continued looking at the sky, thinking.

Jokingly, Raphael did his best to imitate a game show host. "The answer to number one is………. I have been banished from the house for the afternoon." He looked down at her. "The barn too."

April laughed at little more. "I think Mikey wanted to surprise you with your birthday cake, Splinter and Leo are decorating the living room, and Casey said he and Donnie were putting some finishing touches on a birthday present for you. What it is exactly, I'm not sure. Now," she stated, poking his leg with her finger. "What's the answer to question two?"

"You won't laugh will you?"

April looked up at him, "Have I ever?"

"No," Raphael shook his head and smiled. He tilted his head as far back as he could and looked intently at the sky above him. "I've always wanted to fly."

"What? Like a bird?" April stretched and placed her hands between her head and Raphael's plastron. She shut her eyes and listened to the birds above.

"No," Raphael laughed a little. "I always thought it would be cool to go hang gliding or something like that."

April nodded her head. "I could see you doing that."

"Just wanna touch the clouds," he muttered, mainly to himself.

April smiled once more and let the comment go. She knew it wasn't necessarily meant for her ears. "When I was a kid," she started talking. "I used to love lying out in the grass and pointing out all the things you could see in the clouds." She looked earnestly at her friend. "Did you guys ever get to do that?"

"Nope," Raphael shook his head. "The whole ninja, sticking to the shadows thing kind prevented that." He shrugged his shoulders. "Daytime isn't the best time for a mutant to be lying about in the open."

"Well," April promptly sat up, much to Raphael's disappointment. "It's daytime now and it's the perfect sky for it," she indicated, raising her arm and pointing to the array of floating white shapes overhead. "C'mon," she slapped her arm on his and lay down next to him.

Not even worried about looking silly or childish, Raphael laid down next to April, doing his best to give an imaginative answer when she would point out a cloud. Occasionally, just to aggravate her, he would blurt out the words "horsy" or "ducky" or "puppy." April's laughter encouraged him to continue with the strange answers. His responses getting weirder each time until they went completely into ridiculous.

"What about that one?" April asked, holding her sides from laughing so hard.

"Leo," Raphael started. "In a pink tutu doing Swan Lake."

Splinter sat on the porch swing and watched, waiting. He wanted to talk to Raphael for a few minutes. He held tightly to his son's birthday present. The fatherly rat wanted to present his son with his gift privately, as he did so every year. But, he had not heard Raphael's boisterous laughter in a long time. Grateful for the sound, he continued to relax on the swing, enjoying the moment.


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay, sorry this took so long. I do apologize. But, this story is finally finished. I'm not to thrilled with it as it seems a little too mushy but now that it's done, I can work on several other stories that I have going and one other plot bunny that had surfaced as of late. I swear, if the writer's for the TMNT ever asked any of the fans for story lines for the comics and cartoons, they would end up with more plots than they could handle. As always, I don't own 'em. But, if the opportunity ever presents itself, you can bet your sweet bippy I'll jump at the chance. Read and Review please**.

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Splinter sat on the porch swing, watching and waiting. Quietly the old chains that held the wooden bench let out a rhythmic squeak as they moved. The old rat smiled as he watched his son and considered past events. His grin widened as he saw the pair that had been off in the distance finally get up.

Still giggling, Raphael brushed himself off and then offered his hand to April, helping her up. April grabbed the now empty glasses and stood up. Arms over each others shoulders, they strolled up to the front porch, laughing all the way.

Happy for the opportunity to finally talk to his son, Splinter gripped tightly to the red wrapped package that was sitting in his lap. It was decorated with a simple silver bow.

Finally at the porch, Raphael and April stopped. She looked over at her friend and then at her adoptive father. She gave Raphael's hand a reassuring squeeze and walked up the steps to the door, leaving the turtle behind. Stopping by the swing, she placed her hand on Splinter's shoulder and spoke. "I'll come get you both when dinner is ready."

Splinter nodded and squeezed her hand with his, "thank you child."

"Your welcome dad," she whispered and walked inside.

Splinter turned his attention to his son.

Raphael was still standing on the steps. Arms folded, he was leaning on one of the white pillars. His sideways grin still on his face, he took a few steps up and sat on the swing with his father.

Splinter didn't speak right away. He gave Raphael a chance to get comfortable. The swing squeaked under his weight and gave out a little wiggle as he shifted. Turning, Splinter saw Raphael slouched down and leaning into the corner of the hanging bench, his hands folded across his plastron. Lightly, his feet brushed the wooden floor, just enough to push the swing back and forth.

"It's nice out here," Raphael finally uttered.

"Yes," Splinter agreed. "It is." He turned and stared at Raphael. "I take it you are feeling better?"

"Yes sir," he nodded and sat up a little. "I'm sorry about all the trouble I caused," he shifted over, closer to his father. Sighing, Raphael leaned his head on Splinter's shoulder. "I miss her."

"I'm sure you do," Splinter acknowledged. He brought his left paw up and rubbed at Raphael's cheek as it continued to rest on his shoulder. "I would like for you to tell me about her one day," he paused for a moment. "When you are ready."

"I will," Raphael agreed. He let out a sigh and shut his eyes, using only his ears to observe his surroundings. Crickets had started chirping, indicating the final start of spring. A light breeze rustled through the tree tops as it pushed away the remaining clouds, lagging behind from the morning's rain. All the sounds helped to relax him even more. "Sensei?" he finally asked.

"Yes Raphael?"

"Why don't we ever just stay here?" The large turtle sat up and gave his father a serious look. "Why do we keep going back to the city?"

"As pleasant an idea as that is Raphael," Splinter patted his son's knee. "I believe you would become bored if you remained here long enough." He let out a small chuckle as he thought of what might happen with four very energetic sons and nothing to keep them occupied. "I know that you enjoy the quiet here," he continued. "It is a good place to come and think, relax," he looked at Raphael. "Find things you thought were missing," he grinned. "But," he stated matter of factly. "I know you my son. You enjoy the lights and noises of the city far too much to stay away."

Raphael let out an amused 'humph' at his father's observation. He leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees and once more used his toes to cause the swing to move. "You're right," he agreed. "I guess if I were out here all the time, this place wouldn't be so special anymore."

Splinter nodded in agreement and sat silent for a moment longer. His whiskers twitched as the breeze flowed across the porch and rustled his fur. "Raphael."

"Yes sir?" Raphael looked up from his position.

Splinter looked him in the eye and softened his gaze. "I love you my son."

Raphael leaned over and wrapped his arms around Splinter, the old rat returning the embrace. "Love you too dad," Raphael whispered in the ninja masters ear. He held onto his father and nuzzled his face in Splinter's soft fur. He let out a small chuckle as it tickled his skin. Finally, Raphael let go and leaned back, his hands resting in his lap. "So," he looked over expectantly at the red package. "Is that for me?"

Splinter laughed and passed it over. "Of course. You may open it now if you wish."

Hurriedly, Raphael tore into the wrapping to find a worn leather journal underneath. He couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, thinking that this was simply another book for him to write in, but he smiled, said thank-you and flipped through the pages. It was then that he noticed the book was already full. "It's already been written in?" he asked as he skimmed the words written down.

"Yes," Splinter leaned over and gently picked up the book, looking intently at the entries he had written over the years. "When you four were little," he started to explain. "It did not take me long to see how different you all were. And," he emphasized. "How you were all the same. I did not want to forget a moment of what you learned, first words, trials, celebrations. For each of you, growing up was a different process. So," he clutched the book tightly to his chest as he thought of his sons in their younger years. "One night I was scavenging around an old book store. I was lucky enough to find four journals, all empty, and began keeping one on all of you. A chronicle of your life of sorts. Leonardo already has his book, and now you have yours. Donatello and Michelangelo will receive theirs as well, when the time is right." He passed the book back and placed Raphael's hands on top of it. "There is a letter in the back, for you from me," he patted the turtle's hand. "You may open it whenever you are ready to."

"Thank you," Raphael whispered. He felt honored that his father did this for him, that he thought so far ahead. He tried very hard not to let himself cry, but one tear did escape. Quickly he wiped it away and let out a little sniff. "Been crying way too much lately," he muttered.

Splinter said nothing; he just let the comment go and enjoyed the private moment he and Raphael were sharing.

Two figures sat on the front porch and watched the sun set over the tree tops. The crickets chirped loudly as they heralded the onset of evening, the day was coming to a peaceful end. Rocking lazily on the swing, they turned their attention to the front door as it let out a creak. April peeked around the corner with a smile on her face. "Dinner's ready," she said simply.

An hour and half later, everyone was sitting around the table plates empty, laughing and talking.

"Dinner was great Mike," Raphael spoke up as he rubbed his stomach. "Thanks."

"I'll say," remarked Donatello. He looked the remaining bit of food on his plate. "I hate to leave that last bite."

Mischievously, Casey leaned across the table, stabbing the piece of meat with his fork and popping it in his mouth.

"Hey!" Donatello blurted out in surprise. "I was going to eat that!"

"Sorry man," Casey chuckled as he swallowed his bite down with a drink of tea. "Where Mikey's cooking is concerned, you snooze you loose."

Donatello's face did not reveal any amusement as everyone else laughed. With no other course of action, all he could think of to do was stick his tongue out at Casey.

"Okay guys," Leonardo interrupted, still laughing at his brother's face. "Casey, April," he turned his head and eyed the two humans. "You want to take the birthday boy into the front room. Don and I will help take care of the dishes and then we'll be out with his cake."

Usually stuck with doing the dishes at home, Raphael wasn't about to argue with the arrangement. Happily, he walked into the other room with his two friends.

Casey plopped himself down on the end of the couch as April sat on the arm of the sofa. Snuggling up, Casey put his right arm around her waist and slid over a little closer.

Raphael got comfortable in the arm chair across from the couple.

"So Raph," Casey spoke up. "Who was Mrs. Morrison? Leo said she was an older lady you used to visit but not much more."

"Casey," April scolded as she noticed the slight look of apprehension on Raphael's face. "He might not want to talk about her right now."

Raphael sat up and look over at his green bag in the corner and back over at his friends. Quietly, he got up and walked over to pick up his sack. Taking a place on the couch next to the couple, he opened it up and pulled out a small object. "This is her," he said as he passed over a picture in a small frame. Mrs. Morrison was sitting in her chair with Lucy curled up in her arms, a smile gracing her face. "I kind of took that from her house after she died," he shrugged his shoulders.

"She looks like she was a nice person," April observed as she looked at the picture.

"Kind of like my gram," Casey added and passed the photo back. "Nice picture, when did she have that done?"

"I took it last year, about this same time," Raphael admitted.

"You?" April questioned.

"Yeah," Raphael smiled back and nodded. Again he reached into his bag and began fishing around as he talked. "She was a photojournalist for a while. She traveled the world and saw all sorts of stuff. Then she lost her sight and couldn't do it anymore," his voice softened and he pulled out another object, the one he didn't want anyone else to see, and passed it off. "She gave me her camera stuff and I've been taking some pictures with it." He leaned back and looked at the couple next too him. "I don't know if the one's I've taken are any good," he shrugged his shoulders and watched as Casey carefully inspected the small piece of equipment. Holding his hands out as Casey passed it back, he continued talking. "She tried to explain everything to me as best as she could but….." his voice trailed off. Solemnly he looked at the camera. Turning it over, studying it, he smiled.

"Have you gotten any of the pictures developed?" April asked as she moved next to him on the couch.

Raphael just shook his head 'no.'

"Why not?" Casey asked. "We could take 'em to the store and have it done for you."

Again Raphael shook his head. "I took some of my brothers when they weren't looking. I don't think people need to see those." He carefully set the camera down on the table and kept talking, mainly thinking out loud to himself. "I guess," he tapped at his chin and chewed at his lower lip. "Maybe I could set up a dark room or something in the lair." He looked over at April and asked, "You think you and Donnie could help me with that?"

"You bet," April answered.

"Hey Babe?" Casey piped up.

April glared at the remark but only for a second.

"The garage called and you van is ready."

April cringed, steadying herself for the financial bomb that was about to drop. "How much?"

"Umm…." Casey hesitated for a moment. "$750."

Raphael's head turned from Casey and over to look at April. She had her head in her hands and let out a long breath.

"We don't have that much," she finally whispered.

Without even thinking about it, Raphael reached into a side pocket of his army bag and pulled out a roll of green paper. Grabbing April's hand, he pushed money into it and closed her fingers around it. "Here," he said. "There's $800 in there so that should cover it."

"Raph," she shook her head. "I can't take this. It's too much."

Casey had a look of shock on his face and had to ask. "Where did you get that kind of cash?"

"Raphael," April was still trying to give the money back. "This is the money Mrs. Morrison left you isn't it."

"Some of it," he explained. "She said it was mine to do what I wanted with it," he pushed her hand back. "I want to pay the repair bill with it so I'm not taking it back. I'll just end up with more next month. Besides," he hung his head guiltily. "It's better than what I had planned to do with it anyway."

"What was that?" Casey asked. He leaned forward and looked to the side, trying to catch Raphael's eye. He gave a nudge, trying to get his friend to answer.

"Leave," Raphael whispered.

The three sat silently for a moment. No one really knew what to say to that comment. Raphael stared at the floor, his eyes following the wood grain under his toes.

Casey looked over his friend's shell at April and placed his hand on her shoulder. With a nod of his head, he indicated for her to leave the room and go to the kitchen. Agreeing, April quietly got up and left. Raphael watched as she walked away.

"Wouldn't have worked."

"What?" Raphael turned around, surprised.

"I would have found you," Casey stated flatly. "Leaving wouldn't have worked."

Raphael said nothing, just leaned back into the couch cushions.

Casey sat back as well and folded his hands behind his head. "So where were you thinking?" he looked over. "Somewhere south, right?"

Raphael looked over, "Yeah."

"I figured," Casey looked back. Facing forward again, Casey nudged his friend with his elbow. "You gonna' be okay?"

"You really would have come after me?" Raphael gave a quizzical look. "Why?"

Casey looked over, slightly surprised. "You're kidding right?"

Raphael shook his head 'no.'

"Hello!" Casey gave him a playful knock on the head. "Best buds, remember?" He grinned wide. "I have been thinking though."

"That's a dangerous thing." Raphael received another knock to the head and held his hands up in defeat. "Okay," he conceded. "Seriously, what were you thinking about?"

Casey continued staring forward, out the window. "Maybe next month we should take the bikes out," he looked over and finished his sentence. "I could take a few days off."

"What?" Raphael looked over. "Like a road trip?"

"Yeah," Casey answered. "I was thinking we could follow the shoreline south. See how far we could get in a couple days and then turn around and head home."

"When?"

"Hmmmm……" Casey tapped at his chin. "It's the end of March so how about the first week of May?" He turned his head to the side. "Sound good to you?"

"Works for me," Raphael grinned, looking forward to the idea of the open road with no real destination in mind. His meanderings were cut short when the lights went out and voices began singing 'Happy Birthday.' In the end, the one that stood out was Michelangelo's off key verse of "you like a monkey and smell like one too." It was promptly followed by and "OW!" as he nursed a thump to the head by Donatello.

"Sheesh," Michelangelo muttered as he placed the 'cake' in front of his brother. "Try to jazz up a tired classic and that's the thanks I get," he cut an impish grin at Donatello. Smiling wide, he turned his attention back to Raphael. "Alright bro'," he instructed as he placed the sweet treat in front of Raphael. "Make a wish and blow out the candles."

Raphael rolled his eyes at the suggestion but decided to humor his little brother. He looked around at his family as they smiled back at him, nodding; he knew what to wish for. Taking in a deep breath, he exhaled, blowing out the candles on the first try. Lights returning, Raphael got a good look at his cake and realized it wasn't a traditional birthday cake. He turned and grinned wide to the family cook, "Cheesecake?"

"Yep," Michelangelo beamed proudly. "I remembered once how you said it was your favorite." As happy as he was to see his brother's smile, Michelangelo was also a bit impatient. "Hurry up and cut the darn thing," he passed over a knife and set a stack of plates on the coffee table. "You got presents to open."

Raphael obliged and soon everyone was settled in comfortably, desert and coffee in hand as they talked, laughed and watched Raphael open his birthday gifts.

Living in the sewers with little to no money at times, it had become a bit of a tradition for the brothers to make gifts for each other. From Leonardo, he received a new stand for his sai. Proudly, Raphael held up the small wooden base with backing on it. It had four pegs on the slat of wood for him to hang his sai on. It was painted red around the edging with a gold trim. "Thanks Leo," he whispered to the brother on his left.

As soon as he set it down, Donatello reached across the coffee table to hand off a rather large box. "This is from me," he said.

"Hey!"

"And Casey helped," Donatello added.

"Okay," Raphael looked a little unsure and the words scary combination could be heard in his mutterings. Upon opening the large box and gave his brother a quizzical look. "My helmet?"

"Yeah," Donatello confirmed. "But," he held up a finger and pointed to the inside. "I installed a connection on your bike for an ipod. Now, when your riding down the road," he took the helmet from Raphael and flipped it over and pointed to a small opening for a plug. "There's a remote on your helmet that's placed on a low frequency, the same as your bike," he added excitedly. "So now you can plug in your ipod and listen to your favorite music." Eyes wide, Donatello looked over at Raphael. "Cool huh?"

"Yeah Don," Raphael smiled. "Very cool." He kept silent that he didn't have the necessary electronics to make the enhancement useable.

"This is from Casey and I," April nudged him and passed over a small box. "I know that you guys make each other's gifts but….." she shrugged her shoulders. "When Don told us what he wanted to do, I thought this might be more practical."

Raphael opened the package to find what he was lacking to make Donatello's gift work. "Sweet!" he exclaimed. "Thanks guys," he grinned.

"Okay," Michelangelo interrupted. "Time for mine." Ceremoniously, and with theme music that resembled the sounds of Pomp and Circumstance, Michelangelo handed over his wrapped gift.

Curious and somewhat concerned as to what was in the package, Raphael carefully opened it. Inside was a wooden frame that had been stained a red hue and polished to a deep shine. A quote from Jack Johnson had been painted in black around the edging. 'Words fall short, they can't see the unseen.' Raphael gave Michelangelo a questioning look.

"Okay," Michelangelo stuttered as he back up a bit, holding his hands. "I didn't mean to really," his voice rose in pitch along with his nervousness. "It's just that you were always carrying that green bag around and I got curious as to what was in it so I looked."

Raphael's eyes went into small slits at the indication that his privacy had been violated.

"I saw the camera," Michelangelo took a step back as Raphael stood up and began walking around the table. "I figured you were taking pictures and would want a frame to put one in." Sheepishly, he gave his best puppy dog look to Raphael, hoping to ward off his impending doom. Michelangelo let out his usual girly scream as Raphael grabbed for him.

Surprisingly, Michelangelo found himself the recipient of a hug from Raphael. "Thanks Bro'," Raphael whispered in his brother's ear. Breathing a sigh of relief, Michelangelo relaxed and returned the hug only to find himself in a light choke hold a few seconds later as a noogie was applied to his head. "Stay outta my stuff from now on, 'kay?"

Nodding in agreement, Michelangelo was released.

For the next few hours or so, the family talked about the plans for the following week. Michelangelo announced that he had a new recipe to try and Casey and Raphael made plans to 'go bust some heads' only to be chastised by both April and Leonardo for being both foolhardy and impulsive. After some time had passed, it was evident everyone was becoming tired, especially the three brothers after being kept awake all night by the local wildlife. Exhausted from the long day, everyone began to make the trek upstairs to bed, except one.

"Raphael?" Splinter placed his paw in the turtle's shoulder. "It is late," he indicated to the stairs. "You should get some sleep."

"I will Sensei," Raphael nodded. He stretched out on the now empty couch and smiled up at his father. "I'm kind of comfortable here. I was thinking I would just sleep on the couch."

"Of course," Splinter nodded and pulled the quilt off the back of the old piece of furniture. Gracefully, he flipped it out and let the heavy fabric fall over Raphael. Leaning down, the old rat patted Raphael on the side of the face and smiled. "Goodnight my son."

"Goodnight," came a tired reply.

Raphael was almost asleep when he heard the stairs creak. A set of footsteps tried to quietly come down. His body now alert, he laid still and gingerly fingered the sai at his side, waiting to find out who was there.

"Hey Raph," Casey whispered.

Surprised, Raphael opened his eyes and let out a disgruntled "what?"

"Look," Casey continued to whisper as he pulled out a small white box. "I know you don't do the whole touchy feely thing and neither do I so," he looked at the small package in his hand and smiled. "Here, happy birthday you psycho."

"Thanks lunkhead," Raphael replied. He waited until Casey was out of sight before he opened the box. Inside were two letters. The first one he opened was from Casey.

_Dear Raph_

_When I turned 18, my mom gave me this present from my dad. It was a purple heart from his time in the military. She told me that he had written the letter that was with it before I was born. Mom also said that she and dad had planned on having more kids but he passed away before that could happen. I guess when he wrote the letter and placed it in the box with the Purple Heart; he also did one for the bronze start he received. It was supposed to go to the next kid. I like to think that if I had a brother he would be just like you, 'cause that's how I think of you, like a brother. Anyway, I wish dad were still alive because I think he would be proud to know you. Happy birthday,_

_Casey._

Curious, Raphael lifted the second piece of paper to see the aforementioned bronze star nestled carefully in pieces of folded up tissue paper. Opening the letter from Casey's dad, he read,

_Dear son,_

_I am writing this long before you were born but please know that I love you and am proud of you. I am giving you this medal not because I want you to know what I have done or because I want you to be proud of me. I give it to you in the hopes that it will serve as a reminder that no matter how bad things are, there are still those who stand for what it is right and whose principles can't be compromised. If anything else, I hope that as you go about your life you will remember that family, love, and self respect are everything. All the luxuries in life can't replace the comfort that friends and family bring._

_Love Dad._

Smiling, Raphael remembered the note from Splinter and quickly turned to the back of his book and tore into the envelope. His eyes teared up as he read the words from his father. There were mentions of struggles that Raphael had worked through, times when he gave of himself for his family and how proud Splinter was. Tired but happy, Raphael placed the letter back at the end of the book and clutched it to his chest as he fell asleep, contented with his place in the world.

The next morning Splinter woke up and carefully crept downstairs. He smiled as his eyes were met with the sight of Raphael snoring loudly on the couch, his arm dangling down, resting on Michelangelo's shell. Donatello and Leonardo both were asleep in the two opposing chairs, curled up their blankets. Quietly, he crept over and picked up Raphael's camera.

One year later:

Raphael and Donatello emerged from Raphael's darkroom, his latest print in hand.

"I think that's your best one yet," Donatello exclaimed as he admired the picture of the city, brick rooftops overlapping each other as the sun tried it's best to push its way through the smog.

"You think so?" Raphael asked as he set the picture down next to the frame Michelangelo had given him a year ago. A picture of him and his brothers all asleep in the living room of the farm house was placed inside.

"Definitely," Donnatello assured him.

Looking around, Raphael became worried. "Where are they?" he asked as he looked at the clock. "We're supposed to meet Casey and April in an hour."

As if on cue, Michelangelo and Leonardo walked in from their trek to the comic store, bags in hand.

"What took you guys so long?" Raphael asked impatiently.

"Sorry," Leonardo shrugged, a sheepish grin adorning his face. "I couldn't decide which graphic novels to get this time." Hurriedly, he and Michelangelo rushed to their room to leave their packages and head to the warehouse with the rest of their family.

"We should have been there twenty minutes ago," Raphael grumbled over the speaker in his helmet.

"Calm down Raph," Leonardo chastised as he pulled up behind his brother's bike. Both of them parked in a dirt area on the side of the road. April and Casey were already waiting, a metal contraption attached to the top of her van.

"Whatever," Raphael grumbled as he turned his bike off. Quickly, he and his brothers walked over to April and Casey to help take the items off the top of the van. Splinter stood in the back and watched, happy to observe.

When they were through, Leonardo stepped back and gave a concerned look to his father. "I still say this is dangerous," he muttered as he leaned over. Splinter just chuckled.

"See you guys at the bottom," Raphael yelled as he took a run to cliff, leaping off the mountainside. His form and the hang glider he was attached to floated around in the sky, a 'yee-friggin-haw' followed his leap.

Splinter chuckled at the sight and climbed into the van to begin the ride to the bottom of the mountain.

"What's so funny?" Leonardo asked.

"When was the last time you yelled 'yee-haw?"


End file.
